I had been kinda down recently. I felt like I was a failure in about everything, in being a person. Well, wrote it all off to a trusted friend and he suggested that I need to count my blessings more. I started doing that, on and off, but it started to change me. I hope it will last long.
He also said that I need to see the positive side of everything, even in things like Jeremy's crying which is often, long and inconsolable ;)) At first I almost laughed it off, what good could come from it. But suddenly it hit me (when Jeremy was in one of his crying bouts), that by habitually control my emotion when Jeremy is crying (cos Jeremy would scream even more when I or his daddy gets emotional), I can also improve my self control when Tio is crying.
I have to admit it and apologise to Tio, that whenever he cried when he was small I, or sometimes his daddy, would get so emotional that we didn't really help Tio venting off his emotion. Hope I am not too late in changing myself. I've caused much damage to my lovely eldest. Yet he's still so sweet to me. I feel like I don't deserve it.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
19 Oct went to Indo
9 Dec went back to Bangkok, stayed at Center Point Apt. Tio wanted to go back to Abloom. Center Point is ok, but Abloom is better. The room in Abloom was bigger, and the bathroom was so comfy, no bathtub but it was so easy to give bath to Jeremy. In CP I had to put J's bath tub inside the big bath tub and it's so inconvenient esp because J didnt want to sit most of the time, luckily my poor back did not give me any trouble. And in Abloom there was a washing machine operated using tokens. In CP I had to wash the laundry using J's bath tub by bending my back over the big bath tub.
10 Dec salvaging of AIT, so sad to see my house's condition. I broke into tears when I saw J's teddy bear all ruined. We went to look for Jeremy's bed and stroller in Central Chidlom which is near CP
11 Dec papa went to look for apartment. Luckily Vineeta has already booked one room for us. Otherwise we would not get this nice, clean, brand new, affordable and very near to school room. The room is a studio room, costs us 5,000 this month and 6,500 per month starting next month.
We bought fridge, electric induction stove, cooking pan and sauce pans
12 Dec morning we bought Jeremy's play yard where he will sleep in and new stroller that can be used for koko and J. Papa went to the new apt in the afternoon to receive the fridge etc that we bought the day before.
13 Dec at 13.00 checked out from CP. Then we moved to the new apartment. Jeremy slept when we were near the apt and continued sleeping in the apt. I took it as a good sign :)
When we first moved to CP Jeremy was cranky, but after some time he's back to normal again. Then now again he's a bit cranky. Hope he'll be ok soon
The room is nice and clean, I have space to wash and hang the laundry (no space for washing machine), and to give bath to Jeremy. There's water heater, but no wash basin and no space for cooking, it's a bit difficult washing the dishes in the bathroom sink. Things that can be improved: the bathroom floor is so flat that water spread everywhere instead of flowing directly to the drainage and there's no height difference between the shower part and the dry part. The lift and common washing machine are not operating yet and there's the noise from the builders' activity as the apt building is not yet 100% finished, and right outside the building the road is small and a lot of traffic, many stray dogs and their poo poo are scattered everywhere, no park or garden for the kids to play with. Anyway, I like staying in here and the children are ok too.
17 Jan 2011
still I like the place, though it's too small to keep our things and there's so much dust (sometimes I think that's why we cough so much these days)....the best things are that the room is clean and so close to Tio's school
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
- We went to Garuda office, packed our things and the next day, on 19 Oct we flew to Jakarta, we left some things with my very kind ex-boss who live near the airport -
The flood story has turned into a nightmare for me. On the 20 Oct I still saw pictures of my house with only 50 cm of water in front of it. And some friends also informed me that the building was still safe.
On 21 Oct morning the situation was more or less the same. But on the night of 21 Oct the nightmare came. The water almost reached the bottom part of the old aircon which is still installed in my bedroom. How my heart broke to see it. And to see other parts of AIT campus which are also submerged... to remember my happy days in that house, in those rooms... in that campus... how my boys' laughter had rung there.... how Tio learned to walk, to play, to ride bicycle there....
now we have no home to go back to... our things, though not much in monetary value but choked full with memories, are gone.... the water is expected to stay for around 4 weeks... and after that what? we can't possibly stay in that house... farms and factories are submerged... diseases will spread....
I still don't know what to do... I love my house.. I love AIt .. I love Thailand... and I'm not ready to leave the little piece of heaven that I had enjoyed for the last 12 years...
Till now, even the sight of Thai products (Tipco juice, Glico, etc) and fruit (longan, etc.) reduce me into tears...
- pic of my lovely home in its sad condition... the one at the corner, ground floor-
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thailand has been flooded for months this year. The first impact we felt was that our maid asked to go home earlier since there was news that her house would be flooded in another 2 hours.
We thought we were safe, it was in another province. We invited her and her son to stay with us in case they had to evacuate. But turned out that we had to evacuate ourselves
We had been keeping our belongings and moved some to papa's office which is on the 2nd floor, but not all and not yet ready to evacuate. A Thai friend called that Friday night 14 Oct and told us that a water gate broke, AIT and TU issued evacuation orders. So in panic we packed our things and moved to a serviced apartment in Bangkok (which turned out to be very nice, better than my expectation ;))) the kids have also been enjoying our stay
AIT was safe that night, so the next day we went back to AIT to get some more things, wash our clothes and back to Bangkok. The next day we went outing to Paragon and Villa Market. The next day we stayed at the apartment. The next day papa went back to AIT to get some more stuffs as the situation got worse around AIT. AIT is still safe (no water) till now but the areas surrounding it are already inundated. So we don't know for how long AIT will stay safe and if we are inside we won't be able to go out should we need something
Timothy has runny nose as usual, but Jeremy got sick with cold. The night before he cried so much that we got worried. Then last night he vomited and has been having blocked nose and cried again
We'd looked for apartment which is more affordable for 1 month stay in Bangkok. But now there's the news that Bangkok governor said Bangkok has 48 hours to prepare for flood
So we decided to go to Jakarta for 2 weeks
We thought we were safe, it was in another province. We invited her and her son to stay with us in case they had to evacuate. But turned out that we had to evacuate ourselves
We had been keeping our belongings and moved some to papa's office which is on the 2nd floor, but not all and not yet ready to evacuate. A Thai friend called that Friday night 14 Oct and told us that a water gate broke, AIT and TU issued evacuation orders. So in panic we packed our things and moved to a serviced apartment in Bangkok (which turned out to be very nice, better than my expectation ;))) the kids have also been enjoying our stay
AIT was safe that night, so the next day we went back to AIT to get some more things, wash our clothes and back to Bangkok. The next day we went outing to Paragon and Villa Market. The next day we stayed at the apartment. The next day papa went back to AIT to get some more stuffs as the situation got worse around AIT. AIT is still safe (no water) till now but the areas surrounding it are already inundated. So we don't know for how long AIT will stay safe and if we are inside we won't be able to go out should we need something
Timothy has runny nose as usual, but Jeremy got sick with cold. The night before he cried so much that we got worried. Then last night he vomited and has been having blocked nose and cried again
We'd looked for apartment which is more affordable for 1 month stay in Bangkok. But now there's the news that Bangkok governor said Bangkok has 48 hours to prepare for flood
So we decided to go to Jakarta for 2 weeks
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Jeremy and Timothy - the first weeks
The first night was difficult, Jeremy demanded to be fed continuously for almost 4 hours, leaving me with very sore nipples
For the next few days I had pain all over my body, from head to toe: swollen feet, sore incision wound, cracked nipples, cough, eye discharge (but doctor said it's not the contagious type as my scleras were not red)
Jeremy really looks like Timothy. Papa found pics of Timothy and when we put their pics together the resemblance is just so obvious
Jeremy is more graceful when being breastfed. According to "What to expect the 1st year" he is more of the "gourmet" type, while Timothy is the "barracuda". Jeremy would taste the nipple, smack his lips and then gracefully suckle. While Timothy would immediately charge and chase when being presented with nipple.
Jeremy can stop sucking when the breastmilk is overflowing (let down) and let the milk drips down his chin. I don't remember Timothy doing that. But both are choked and cough because the milk flow is just too much
Jeremy doesn't like to be held upright or sat down for burping. He would push his head backward so we have to hold him lying down again. Just like Timothy, he would remove the gloves or socks we put on him within 2 minutes. Both of them don't like being swaddled. Jeremy would kick and moan and try to pull his hands out.
Tio is a baby who follows text books, we can find the solutions for the problems we had with him in the books and usually the solutions work well. Or maybe because this time we didn't really have time to read all the books in advance nor when problems happened.
On the first check up at 1 week old Jeremy was suspected to have jaundice and doctor asked to get his blood tested for bilirubin level. If it's >15 then the baby has to undergo light treatment. Luckily Jeremy's was 9.8, which is lower than the threshold level of 10.
Doctor said the continuous feeding because he received nutrition all the time when he was in the womb, or maybe inadequate breastmilk. I think it's the first one :D coz I grazed when I was pregnant.
As for my checkup doctor said all's ok, the waterproof-bandage was removed and he taught hubby how to remove the "magictape"-like bandage which should be easily removed after shower.
Timothy takes all the changes well. But he clung to my sister when she and my mom were visiting. And he acted up too maybe because he knew he had other people to turn on to when his parents are upset. I realized I'm too emotional with him and had to tell myself all the time to calm down, though often times I failed. I really have to be kinder with him.
Hubby has been kinder to Timothy and now he has to take full time care of Timothy. I help when Jeremy is sleeping. Sometimes the timing was right, I could help Timothy when he needed me. But sometimes this happens: breastfeeding-poo-change of clothes-wake up-more breastfeeding-pee-change of clothes-wake up-more breastfeeding-poo-change of clothes-wake up...it could take more than one hour.
After all the convenience of taking care of a 3 yo boy, these changes are hard to take. But I just keep telling myself that this too will pass ;))
For the next few days I had pain all over my body, from head to toe: swollen feet, sore incision wound, cracked nipples, cough, eye discharge (but doctor said it's not the contagious type as my scleras were not red)
Jeremy really looks like Timothy. Papa found pics of Timothy and when we put their pics together the resemblance is just so obvious
Jeremy is more graceful when being breastfed. According to "What to expect the 1st year" he is more of the "gourmet" type, while Timothy is the "barracuda". Jeremy would taste the nipple, smack his lips and then gracefully suckle. While Timothy would immediately charge and chase when being presented with nipple.
Jeremy can stop sucking when the breastmilk is overflowing (let down) and let the milk drips down his chin. I don't remember Timothy doing that. But both are choked and cough because the milk flow is just too much
Jeremy doesn't like to be held upright or sat down for burping. He would push his head backward so we have to hold him lying down again. Just like Timothy, he would remove the gloves or socks we put on him within 2 minutes. Both of them don't like being swaddled. Jeremy would kick and moan and try to pull his hands out.
Tio is a baby who follows text books, we can find the solutions for the problems we had with him in the books and usually the solutions work well. Or maybe because this time we didn't really have time to read all the books in advance nor when problems happened.
On the first check up at 1 week old Jeremy was suspected to have jaundice and doctor asked to get his blood tested for bilirubin level. If it's >15 then the baby has to undergo light treatment. Luckily Jeremy's was 9.8, which is lower than the threshold level of 10.
Doctor said the continuous feeding because he received nutrition all the time when he was in the womb, or maybe inadequate breastmilk. I think it's the first one :D coz I grazed when I was pregnant.
As for my checkup doctor said all's ok, the waterproof-bandage was removed and he taught hubby how to remove the "magictape"-like bandage which should be easily removed after shower.
Timothy takes all the changes well. But he clung to my sister when she and my mom were visiting. And he acted up too maybe because he knew he had other people to turn on to when his parents are upset. I realized I'm too emotional with him and had to tell myself all the time to calm down, though often times I failed. I really have to be kinder with him.
Hubby has been kinder to Timothy and now he has to take full time care of Timothy. I help when Jeremy is sleeping. Sometimes the timing was right, I could help Timothy when he needed me. But sometimes this happens: breastfeeding-poo-change of clothes-wake up-more breastfeeding-pee-change of clothes-wake up-more breastfeeding-poo-change of clothes-wake up...it could take more than one hour.
After all the convenience of taking care of a 3 yo boy, these changes are hard to take. But I just keep telling myself that this too will pass ;))
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Welcome to the world, Jeremy Aadithya Prajogo
While it's still fresh on my mind :)
So on D-1 our dear friend, Vineeta, came to visit me. She was busy too with some matters but still she offered to help and bring me to the hospital. And so kindly she, her husband and daughter stayed on and accompany Agus and Tio till the evening. May God bless her and her family.
So at 8.30 we went to the hospital. I was sent to the labor room. Same procedure followed: cleaning of the abdomen, enema and starting of IV. This time the enema was not so painful as before as I was already prepared. Then I had to wait till 12.00. The nurse urged me to ask hubby to come so he could keep my belongings and sign the paper for Tubal Ligation.
At around 12.00 hubby and Tio came. Then I was brought to the OR. Actually I didn't want Tio to see me wheeled on a stretcher like that. I was afraid he would be frightened by the sight. He almost cried and said "I want to go with you" but I think he was finally diverted, thank God, because Vineeta's daughter was there (2 y.o., and Tio likes to play with her).
This time the anesthetist was a man, he's kind and speaks gently and assured me that everything will be ok, just a little bit painful and there might be some itch or nausea as the side effects. So unlike the one during Tio's birth (she was rude and told me I was not being cooperative therefore she gave me general anesthesia). My Ob-gyn has assured me that he would choose another one this time. I think he understands our feeling toward the previous anesthetist.
So I waited in the OR for some time until my Ob-gyn came (he has consultation session till 12.00). Then everything moved so fast. The spinal block was administered in less than five minutes, the curtain was draped in front of me and my legs got numb. I was given oxygen and told to take deep breaths at first and then told to breathe normally. Then the doctor prick my abdomen for testing and I didn't feel anything. In another minute the anesthetist told me that the Ob-gyn was already doing the operation and in few minutes I heard his cries. So loud and so sweet in my ears.... tears came flooding in my eyes and I saw him, so small and looks like Tio when he was born (though I didn't see Tio at all till he was 1 day old, coz of the general anesthesia). The doctor took a picture of the swollen face mom and the sweet baby and showed me after the operation was finished. Jeremy weighed 2.860 kgs and 48 cms long. Smaller than Tio :)
Then I was brought to the Recovery Room to sleep off the effect of the anesthesia for 2 hours. My legs were still numb till the evening. And I had to take full bedrest that evening, but had to change positions (alternating between lying on my back, my left and right sides). It took some efforts as the numbing effect wore off.
This morning, the nurse took off the catheter, and then the IV. I could already drink water at 06.00, ate porridge at 08.00 and walk soon afterward. They gave me painkiller pills too. So I finally met Jeremy again. He felt so small in my arms, I think much smaller than Tio and so far he seems to be more calm too, while Tio is very active :) He sucks gently and looks very graceful when trying to find the nipple, while Tio was more like a barracuda in chasing the nipple :)
On the more gross matters, the lochia did not come out until this morning. I was worried but the nurse said it was ok. It was because the doctor cleaned the site thoroughly. I could already pass urine at around noon though BM will have to wait till later as no solids were allowed yesterday.
I had to drink a lot of liquid and I took Molocco to fasten breastmilk production as the doctors and nurses seem to worry that if we didn't give anything to the baby the side effects will be bad (hypoglycemia, reduced IQ, etc.). So we decided to let the hospital to give Jeremy totally hydrolysated formula on the first day. But today I asked them to call me when he's hungry.
Tio's been ok so far. Yesterday he was diverted as he had Bavinee to play with and today he went to Future PArk for his usual Gymboree class with his daddy, my mom and my sister. We tried to keep his routine as much as usual. I gave him some small presents too (book and a 25 Baht toy car :D)
So on D-1 our dear friend, Vineeta, came to visit me. She was busy too with some matters but still she offered to help and bring me to the hospital. And so kindly she, her husband and daughter stayed on and accompany Agus and Tio till the evening. May God bless her and her family.
So at 8.30 we went to the hospital. I was sent to the labor room. Same procedure followed: cleaning of the abdomen, enema and starting of IV. This time the enema was not so painful as before as I was already prepared. Then I had to wait till 12.00. The nurse urged me to ask hubby to come so he could keep my belongings and sign the paper for Tubal Ligation.
At around 12.00 hubby and Tio came. Then I was brought to the OR. Actually I didn't want Tio to see me wheeled on a stretcher like that. I was afraid he would be frightened by the sight. He almost cried and said "I want to go with you" but I think he was finally diverted, thank God, because Vineeta's daughter was there (2 y.o., and Tio likes to play with her).
This time the anesthetist was a man, he's kind and speaks gently and assured me that everything will be ok, just a little bit painful and there might be some itch or nausea as the side effects. So unlike the one during Tio's birth (she was rude and told me I was not being cooperative therefore she gave me general anesthesia). My Ob-gyn has assured me that he would choose another one this time. I think he understands our feeling toward the previous anesthetist.
So I waited in the OR for some time until my Ob-gyn came (he has consultation session till 12.00). Then everything moved so fast. The spinal block was administered in less than five minutes, the curtain was draped in front of me and my legs got numb. I was given oxygen and told to take deep breaths at first and then told to breathe normally. Then the doctor prick my abdomen for testing and I didn't feel anything. In another minute the anesthetist told me that the Ob-gyn was already doing the operation and in few minutes I heard his cries. So loud and so sweet in my ears.... tears came flooding in my eyes and I saw him, so small and looks like Tio when he was born (though I didn't see Tio at all till he was 1 day old, coz of the general anesthesia). The doctor took a picture of the swollen face mom and the sweet baby and showed me after the operation was finished. Jeremy weighed 2.860 kgs and 48 cms long. Smaller than Tio :)
Then I was brought to the Recovery Room to sleep off the effect of the anesthesia for 2 hours. My legs were still numb till the evening. And I had to take full bedrest that evening, but had to change positions (alternating between lying on my back, my left and right sides). It took some efforts as the numbing effect wore off.
This morning, the nurse took off the catheter, and then the IV. I could already drink water at 06.00, ate porridge at 08.00 and walk soon afterward. They gave me painkiller pills too. So I finally met Jeremy again. He felt so small in my arms, I think much smaller than Tio and so far he seems to be more calm too, while Tio is very active :) He sucks gently and looks very graceful when trying to find the nipple, while Tio was more like a barracuda in chasing the nipple :)
On the more gross matters, the lochia did not come out until this morning. I was worried but the nurse said it was ok. It was because the doctor cleaned the site thoroughly. I could already pass urine at around noon though BM will have to wait till later as no solids were allowed yesterday.
I had to drink a lot of liquid and I took Molocco to fasten breastmilk production as the doctors and nurses seem to worry that if we didn't give anything to the baby the side effects will be bad (hypoglycemia, reduced IQ, etc.). So we decided to let the hospital to give Jeremy totally hydrolysated formula on the first day. But today I asked them to call me when he's hungry.
Tio's been ok so far. Yesterday he was diverted as he had Bavinee to play with and today he went to Future PArk for his usual Gymboree class with his daddy, my mom and my sister. We tried to keep his routine as much as usual. I gave him some small presents too (book and a 25 Baht toy car :D)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Counting down to our 2nd son's birth
Just would like to record how it feels and what happens
Compared to Tio's birth, this time around there are more of the preparations and apprehension. Tio's birth was scheduled on 11 June, but when I went to the hospital to check about the spotting I experienced on the night of 5 June, I was immediately told to have the operation that morning. This time, we are looking at the date 16 October, planning and worrying about what will happen, what arrangement will be best for Tio, how we will cope with the 4 days of me being away from him. As for me, knowing what to expect (the procedure before the operation, the operation itself and what follows) somehow makes me more apprehensive.... when I gave birth to Tio, I had read a lot about it beforehand, but nothing compares to experience the process itself.
We've got a new fulltime helper in mid of Sept. It was good that my previous helper (part time) asked to resign as she found a new job then. It gave time for Tio to know our new helper better. She's good with him and they clicked. Though Tio still doesn't let anyone else but me to dress him up, help him showering and he still asks me to bring him to school (with our helper alongside him, as he's fond of riding his own bike, and rides it so fast too, and I cannot catch up with him anymore during these last few months). But Tio doesn't mind being picked up from school by her alone. She let him ride his bike fast and she does not scold him as much as his mom does :D guess he may even be happier when mom's not picking him up. I'm also happy with her work around the house. Coming from me, a very picky "madam", it's a high compliment :)
We started preparing clothes etc. since mid of Sept too, as we also moved house on 6 Sept and had to fix things etc. after that. But I got less time to read and find more info about what to prepare etc. Actually I got time, but I also want to catch up with my reading (plan to finish reading Harry Potter the series :D but still stuck at the Order of the Phoenix) and watching Desperate Housewives (finished watching Season 6) and Twilight 1 & 2. I also want to spend some time with Papa :) as maybe we won't have much time alone after this.
Tio's been having cold and cough and last week discharge in the eyes, on and off, since he started school. It's rather hard on him and on us too and we're also worried that his brother may catch some of it from Tio. But we can worry about it later.
Papa had some early baby blues, he's worried about me and about Tio. Somehow I got upset when he told me about this, maybe because it made my worries became more real. I know I shouldn't have and I have to try and be a better wife for him, as he's a perfect husband to me. I'm so thankful of having him beside me. And Tio too, he's a very good son, though I sometimes got so irritated with him for the smallest reasons, but he's always being very good. I love you both so much.
So, most probably I'll go to the hospital by myself (paperworks have been taken care of during our last visit last Sunday) while Tio and papa will follow after lunch. As the operation is scheduled at 12.30.
Keep on counting down .... :)
Compared to Tio's birth, this time around there are more of the preparations and apprehension. Tio's birth was scheduled on 11 June, but when I went to the hospital to check about the spotting I experienced on the night of 5 June, I was immediately told to have the operation that morning. This time, we are looking at the date 16 October, planning and worrying about what will happen, what arrangement will be best for Tio, how we will cope with the 4 days of me being away from him. As for me, knowing what to expect (the procedure before the operation, the operation itself and what follows) somehow makes me more apprehensive.... when I gave birth to Tio, I had read a lot about it beforehand, but nothing compares to experience the process itself.
We've got a new fulltime helper in mid of Sept. It was good that my previous helper (part time) asked to resign as she found a new job then. It gave time for Tio to know our new helper better. She's good with him and they clicked. Though Tio still doesn't let anyone else but me to dress him up, help him showering and he still asks me to bring him to school (with our helper alongside him, as he's fond of riding his own bike, and rides it so fast too, and I cannot catch up with him anymore during these last few months). But Tio doesn't mind being picked up from school by her alone. She let him ride his bike fast and she does not scold him as much as his mom does :D guess he may even be happier when mom's not picking him up. I'm also happy with her work around the house. Coming from me, a very picky "madam", it's a high compliment :)
We started preparing clothes etc. since mid of Sept too, as we also moved house on 6 Sept and had to fix things etc. after that. But I got less time to read and find more info about what to prepare etc. Actually I got time, but I also want to catch up with my reading (plan to finish reading Harry Potter the series :D but still stuck at the Order of the Phoenix) and watching Desperate Housewives (finished watching Season 6) and Twilight 1 & 2. I also want to spend some time with Papa :) as maybe we won't have much time alone after this.
Tio's been having cold and cough and last week discharge in the eyes, on and off, since he started school. It's rather hard on him and on us too and we're also worried that his brother may catch some of it from Tio. But we can worry about it later.
Papa had some early baby blues, he's worried about me and about Tio. Somehow I got upset when he told me about this, maybe because it made my worries became more real. I know I shouldn't have and I have to try and be a better wife for him, as he's a perfect husband to me. I'm so thankful of having him beside me. And Tio too, he's a very good son, though I sometimes got so irritated with him for the smallest reasons, but he's always being very good. I love you both so much.
So, most probably I'll go to the hospital by myself (paperworks have been taken care of during our last visit last Sunday) while Tio and papa will follow after lunch. As the operation is scheduled at 12.30.
Keep on counting down .... :)
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