I had been kinda down recently. I felt like I was a failure in about everything, in being a person. Well, wrote it all off to a trusted friend and he suggested that I need to count my blessings more. I started doing that, on and off, but it started to change me. I hope it will last long.

He also said that I need to see the positive side of everything, even in things like Jeremy's crying which is often, long and inconsolable ;)) At first I almost laughed it off, what good could come from it. But suddenly it hit me (when Jeremy was in one of his crying bouts), that by habitually control my emotion when Jeremy is crying (cos Jeremy would scream even more when I or his daddy gets emotional), I can also improve my self control when Tio is crying.

I have to admit it and apologise to Tio, that whenever he cried when he was small I, or sometimes his daddy, would get so emotional that we didn't really help Tio venting off his emotion. Hope I am not too late in changing myself. I've caused much damage to my lovely eldest. Yet he's still so sweet to me. I feel like I don't deserve it.