In another 45 days I will be officially jobless.... till now I haven't found the right job for me... there are still faint traces of hope for an extension of my current job (for another 4 - 6 months) but.... anyway, I'll keep my fingers crossed....
Hey.. only now I realise that it will be sad for me to say goodbye to my colleagues.... we've been working for 3 years together... though things are not always sweet, and I sometimes complained *kangmas, hope u don't mind my complaining* but in general I'm happy working with them.... some people said my office is the best place to work.... hmmm I think I agree with them..... *I have to remember to bring lots of tissue to the farewell party*
In 14 days comes December.... eventful month... we'll be taking a small step toward our future together....I'm turning 28.... and I will know what will happen to me regarding my job....
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Ho Chi Minh City, Oct 25 - 27, 2004
October 25, 2004
Woke up early this morning to see my kangmas, his elder brother and his elder brother's friend. They were leaving for Siem Reap. The sun was shining so bright and the sky was blue.
I tried to sleep again but could not, then I went to the office to check my mailbox and do some printing for the final preparation to Vietnam. Then I went to Future Park to the fitness center, bought my lunch at a vegetarian food shop (though I lost my apetite). Missed my kangmas much.
We landed at 19.47 after 1.5 hours flight. The airport looks modern, newly renovated, and located in the city center! Our Vietnamese colleague said that the government plans to build a new airport about 50 km away from the city, in another province.
There are many modern buildings, bathed in light : café, hotel, restaurants side by side with some old, tattered buildings. I regretted that I did not bring any camera. The Continental hotel where we were staying is located in a shopping avenue, just beside the Opera House and near the City Hall. So many shops around and the market is not so far away.
The Continental hotel is old (built during French period, I'm not sure what year) but clean, the furniture looks like Chinese antiques. The bathroom is separated from the WC. The room is quite spacious. But they charge for the water (18,000 d + 15% tax and service charge). They give 2 card keys even though I was staying alone.
The meeting venue also has antique Chinese styles. The chairs and tables in the meeting room looked so antique. The traffic is awful like there was no rule at all. I was so scared to cross the street. I walked with my colleague, I didn't know whether I would be able to cross at all if I was alone. Joe (and later B.G. also) said that the trick is just to go ahead, don’t hesitate, the motorcycles will adjust their speed and position to your position *wow, what if they miss?*
There are many ladies selling illegal copies of ‘lonely planet’ and some other books along the street.
October 26, 2004
The food was very good everywhere I went, the people I met were very nice too. After the seminar I went to the market *kalap mode: on*. The market was huge, it sells mostly carvings, clothes, bags and sandals. There are soooo many nice ao dai (read: ao zai), so graceful and lovely and nice night gowns too. I bought a nice red-black one (I'd been wanting this for so long, when I saw Vietnamese girls wearing this in AIT graduation). There are also many fake branded goods (bags, wallets - Prada, Burberry, Gucci, you name it).
Then my Vietnamese colleague picked us up to have dinner at his house. His wife cooks very excellent dishes. The dishes were:
1. Spring roll: the skin is thin, white and has bee-hive or sponge-like texture. There was a shrimp in each roll, with its tail coming out of one end of the roll
2. Banana flower and pork salad
3. Rice paper with the filling: sawi putih, star-fruit, pineapple, steamed saba fish, basil leaf, then dipped in fish sauce with pieces of chilly
4. Soup with pieces of egg and carrot rolled inside beef meat, eaten with baguette
October 27, 2004 - Last minute shopping
As I was leaving that afternoon, at 08.30 I was ready for the minutes shopping. I found some nice dolls, some snacks, chamomile tea (not so Vietnamese, it was Dilmah tea) and fake copy of lonely planet about China (for 5 USD only, but turned out that the quality is very bad, worse than the one about Vietnam which I borrowed from kangmas' friend). In the supermarkets, we have to put our bags in a locker and took the key, first time I saw in ASEAN countries I have ever visited.
Arrived back in Bangkok at about 16.00, home sweet home, I was so tired, I went to have Thai massage in Future Park, it was very nice, 180 B for 1 hour. Then I had facial treatment and haircut too, coz the next day my kangmas would come from Siem Reap ;-P
Woke up early this morning to see my kangmas, his elder brother and his elder brother's friend. They were leaving for Siem Reap. The sun was shining so bright and the sky was blue.
I tried to sleep again but could not, then I went to the office to check my mailbox and do some printing for the final preparation to Vietnam. Then I went to Future Park to the fitness center, bought my lunch at a vegetarian food shop (though I lost my apetite). Missed my kangmas much.
We landed at 19.47 after 1.5 hours flight. The airport looks modern, newly renovated, and located in the city center! Our Vietnamese colleague said that the government plans to build a new airport about 50 km away from the city, in another province.
There are many modern buildings, bathed in light : café, hotel, restaurants side by side with some old, tattered buildings. I regretted that I did not bring any camera. The Continental hotel where we were staying is located in a shopping avenue, just beside the Opera House and near the City Hall. So many shops around and the market is not so far away.
The Continental hotel is old (built during French period, I'm not sure what year) but clean, the furniture looks like Chinese antiques. The bathroom is separated from the WC. The room is quite spacious. But they charge for the water (18,000 d + 15% tax and service charge). They give 2 card keys even though I was staying alone.
The meeting venue also has antique Chinese styles. The chairs and tables in the meeting room looked so antique. The traffic is awful like there was no rule at all. I was so scared to cross the street. I walked with my colleague, I didn't know whether I would be able to cross at all if I was alone. Joe (and later B.G. also) said that the trick is just to go ahead, don’t hesitate, the motorcycles will adjust their speed and position to your position *wow, what if they miss?*
There are many ladies selling illegal copies of ‘lonely planet’ and some other books along the street.
October 26, 2004
The food was very good everywhere I went, the people I met were very nice too. After the seminar I went to the market *kalap mode: on*. The market was huge, it sells mostly carvings, clothes, bags and sandals. There are soooo many nice ao dai (read: ao zai), so graceful and lovely and nice night gowns too. I bought a nice red-black one (I'd been wanting this for so long, when I saw Vietnamese girls wearing this in AIT graduation). There are also many fake branded goods (bags, wallets - Prada, Burberry, Gucci, you name it).
Then my Vietnamese colleague picked us up to have dinner at his house. His wife cooks very excellent dishes. The dishes were:
1. Spring roll: the skin is thin, white and has bee-hive or sponge-like texture. There was a shrimp in each roll, with its tail coming out of one end of the roll
2. Banana flower and pork salad
3. Rice paper with the filling: sawi putih, star-fruit, pineapple, steamed saba fish, basil leaf, then dipped in fish sauce with pieces of chilly
4. Soup with pieces of egg and carrot rolled inside beef meat, eaten with baguette
October 27, 2004 - Last minute shopping
As I was leaving that afternoon, at 08.30 I was ready for the minutes shopping. I found some nice dolls, some snacks, chamomile tea (not so Vietnamese, it was Dilmah tea) and fake copy of lonely planet about China (for 5 USD only, but turned out that the quality is very bad, worse than the one about Vietnam which I borrowed from kangmas' friend). In the supermarkets, we have to put our bags in a locker and took the key, first time I saw in ASEAN countries I have ever visited.
Arrived back in Bangkok at about 16.00, home sweet home, I was so tired, I went to have Thai massage in Future Park, it was very nice, 180 B for 1 hour. Then I had facial treatment and haircut too, coz the next day my kangmas would come from Siem Reap ;-P
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
L'amour de ma vie - part II
And every time I close my eyes
I thank the Lord that I've got you
And you've got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself
'cause I don't believe it's true
That someone like you loves me too
Everytime I Close My Eyes - Babyface
Hehehe ini udah ditulis sejak 27 Aug, tapi aku belum publish sampe sekarang :P abis susah juga me-recall what happened 2 years ago... memory ku ini short term banget (kecuali utk hal2 tertentu, especially other people's faults hehehe)... biarpun kadang exam dapat bagus, tapi kalo ditanya 1 minggu setelahnya, udah lupa semua aku jawab apa... Hmmm udah 2 tahun ya, sayang pas 2nd Anniversary aku lagi di VTE dan kangmas lagi di BKK :-( before that I didn't even have time to plan anything special :-( God, I hate this job sometimes....
Hmmm... so... I went back to Thailand from Europe in late November 2001 and he arrived in Thailand to start working in early December 2001 (if I remember corrrectly on December 2, 2002). I promised to pick him up (I don't know why, he knows Bangkok more than I do anyway). I was so happy to see him coming out of the custom gate!
Then via email to I promised to wait for him before I watched Harry Potter, though my friends were already urging me to watch with them. I asked them to wait... hehehe and naturally they teased me even more....'why would you wait for him?'.....
Then I went back to Indonesia... by then I already knew (and 60% sure) that I will get a job here, but I just had to wait for my potential employer to process the documents.... so I waited and waited for 3 months (I always wanted to work in Thailand ever since I came here in 2000 and all of my friends knew that).... when I departed from the campus, he saw me off and he said - I didn't recall the exact phrase - 'paling2 nanti kamu balik ke sini lagi' and (half)jokingly I replied 'if you insist' hehehe.... I was already wondering by then, whether what my friends said were true..... and I started to have the butterfly feeling....
then I came back to Thailand in March 2002 to start working..... Nothing happen still..... I hang out with my old friends and he hang out with his own friends....
to be continued :P
I thank the Lord that I've got you
And you've got me too
And every time I think of it
I pinch myself
'cause I don't believe it's true
That someone like you loves me too
Everytime I Close My Eyes - Babyface
Hehehe ini udah ditulis sejak 27 Aug, tapi aku belum publish sampe sekarang :P abis susah juga me-recall what happened 2 years ago... memory ku ini short term banget (kecuali utk hal2 tertentu, especially other people's faults hehehe)... biarpun kadang exam dapat bagus, tapi kalo ditanya 1 minggu setelahnya, udah lupa semua aku jawab apa... Hmmm udah 2 tahun ya, sayang pas 2nd Anniversary aku lagi di VTE dan kangmas lagi di BKK :-( before that I didn't even have time to plan anything special :-( God, I hate this job sometimes....
Hmmm... so... I went back to Thailand from Europe in late November 2001 and he arrived in Thailand to start working in early December 2001 (if I remember corrrectly on December 2, 2002). I promised to pick him up (I don't know why, he knows Bangkok more than I do anyway). I was so happy to see him coming out of the custom gate!
Then via email to I promised to wait for him before I watched Harry Potter, though my friends were already urging me to watch with them. I asked them to wait... hehehe and naturally they teased me even more....'why would you wait for him?'.....
Then I went back to Indonesia... by then I already knew (and 60% sure) that I will get a job here, but I just had to wait for my potential employer to process the documents.... so I waited and waited for 3 months (I always wanted to work in Thailand ever since I came here in 2000 and all of my friends knew that).... when I departed from the campus, he saw me off and he said - I didn't recall the exact phrase - 'paling2 nanti kamu balik ke sini lagi' and (half)jokingly I replied 'if you insist' hehehe.... I was already wondering by then, whether what my friends said were true..... and I started to have the butterfly feeling....
then I came back to Thailand in March 2002 to start working..... Nothing happen still..... I hang out with my old friends and he hang out with his own friends....
to be continued :P
Garfield the movie
tuh kan Lia... kalo aku lagi ga sibuk, jadi kecanduan ngisi blog hehehe
kemaren liat Garfield the movie, murah sih 20 B aja, tapi kecewa ah... ga se luthu komik nya... Garfield, Oddie, Nermal, Jon... lain deh....
dubber nya Garfield si Bill Murray... kebetulan barusan pas di LPB sempat liat film dia di HBO yg dia jadi badut perampok, komplotan 3 orang, mereka bikin plot perampokannya sih bagus banget, tapi along the way ada aja halangannya... aku lumayan seneng... sekarang lagi aku google apa judulnya... (sambil dengerin CD Celine Dion yg aku beli di LPB :P, masih kekenyangan makan roti vegetarian tadi pagi, sekarang sampe tgl 23 ntar di sini lagi vegetarian festival, dimana mana jual makanan vegetarian (orang thai bilang 'J' - baca: jee, 'e' spt e kedua di tempe))
Udah tua yah si Bill Murray sekarang... yessss! judulnya Quick Change (liat di HBO schedule tgl 15 Oct kemaren)....
Aduh ini MSN Messenger kok ga bisa online ya sejak Senin kemaren, biasanya sih juga appear offline, tapi at least aku bisa liat sapa aja yg lagi online (oops ketahuan) n bisa langsung login ke hotmail (malas ketik password)...
dah... back to work... preparing for another event on 26 Oct di Ho Chi Minh City dan in Dec di Bangkok aja tapi pesertanya 60 orang, kaya nya VIP, harus urus akomodasi nya juga... alamaaaakkkk..... kemaren ngurus 6 orang aja pusing :-( huaaa......
kemaren liat Garfield the movie, murah sih 20 B aja, tapi kecewa ah... ga se luthu komik nya... Garfield, Oddie, Nermal, Jon... lain deh....
dubber nya Garfield si Bill Murray... kebetulan barusan pas di LPB sempat liat film dia di HBO yg dia jadi badut perampok, komplotan 3 orang, mereka bikin plot perampokannya sih bagus banget, tapi along the way ada aja halangannya... aku lumayan seneng... sekarang lagi aku google apa judulnya... (sambil dengerin CD Celine Dion yg aku beli di LPB :P, masih kekenyangan makan roti vegetarian tadi pagi, sekarang sampe tgl 23 ntar di sini lagi vegetarian festival, dimana mana jual makanan vegetarian (orang thai bilang 'J' - baca: jee, 'e' spt e kedua di tempe))
Udah tua yah si Bill Murray sekarang... yessss! judulnya Quick Change (liat di HBO schedule tgl 15 Oct kemaren)....
Aduh ini MSN Messenger kok ga bisa online ya sejak Senin kemaren, biasanya sih juga appear offline, tapi at least aku bisa liat sapa aja yg lagi online (oops ketahuan) n bisa langsung login ke hotmail (malas ketik password)...
dah... back to work... preparing for another event on 26 Oct di Ho Chi Minh City dan in Dec di Bangkok aja tapi pesertanya 60 orang, kaya nya VIP, harus urus akomodasi nya juga... alamaaaakkkk..... kemaren ngurus 6 orang aja pusing :-( huaaa......
these last 2 days
talk to him - talk to him not - talk to him - talk to him not - talk to him - talk to him - talk to him - ........ oh, I just can't.... - talk to him not - talk to him - talk to him not - talk to him - oh it's not the right time - talk to him - talk to him not -........
ouch!
ouch!
Monday, October 18, 2004
Luang Prabang, Oct 13 - 17, 2004
Oct 13
sampe di LPB sekitar jam 14.00, guesthouse nya lumayan bagus lah.. tapi ga ada jendela hehehe... masih baru bangunannya... kecil sih.. 18 USD pake breakfast (2 telur goreng plus baguette plus orange juice yg manis banget n pisang) katanya yg punya hotel itu orang Vietnam... masih muda tapi usahanya macam2 di LPB... emang lumayan banyak orang Vietnam disitu....
katanya sebelum th 1975 (sebelum Laos jadi negara sosialis), yg banyak berdagang adalah orang Cina, tapi setelah th 75 yg banyak jadi pengusaha atau pedagang malah orang Vietnam....
trus checking meeting room di Pansea hotel (udah ganti nama jadi nama Prancis apa gitu aku lupa)... weh, room rate nya 200 - 400 USD.... tapi untuk kita mereka mau kasih 140 USD (tetep aja mahal bok :D) tapi bagus deh... meeting room nya homy banget... ada sofa nya, buku2 novel dan travel guide dalam berbagai bahasa..... asri emang....
trus jalan2 keliling kota... ga besar kotanya.... tapi cukup sejuk karena daerah pegunungan.... transportasi yg murah naik ojek (seperti beca tapi ditarik sepeda motor, bisa muat 2 orang) atau tuk2.... bayarnya 5,000 - 10,000 kiep = 0.5 - 1 USD per orang
trus ke Tad Sea waterfall, sekitar 30 menit dari city center naik van terus naik boat kecil... rada takut juga sih... tapi waterfall nya lumayan bagus... cascading, terus airnya kehijau2an gitu spt warna jade.... karena sekitar situ batunya limestone (katanya sih :P aku mah ga tau apa hubungannya limestone dng warna kehijauan airnya)
trus pulang ke hotel.....
Oct 14
pagi ada meeting kecil sampe sekitar jam 11 an... excited karena 12.30 my kangmas sampe bareng2 teman2 kantorku yg ga ikut ke Vientiane, sekitar 20 orang gitu hehehe ... trus 12.15 kita berangkat jemput (cuma 10 menit ke airport).. trus makan siang, LPB pork sausage nya enak lho... trus aku meeting sampe jam 18.30... si kangmas sewa sepeda, jalan2 keliling cari objek foto... vat2 (temple) gitu hehehe
tapi rada heran deh, kan kota ini di declared oleh UNESCO sbg World Heritage... tapi apanya sih yg dijadiin Heritage... katanya sih bangunan lama ga boleh dipugar harus dilestarikan.. tapi banyak juga bangunan baru... tapi trus jadinya bangunan bank nya pun jadi jelek gitu, gedung lama (cuma ada 1 bank pemerintah deh, bank swasta kagak ada)
dan kota ini katanya masih kalah tua dng Ayutthaya (yg relatif ga terlalu tua juga) apalagi dng Sukothai...
tapi ada 1 tempat yg kita ga sengaja temukan tgl 16 itu, waktu blusukan masuk ke jalan kecil dari jalan utama night market nya.... seperti kita transported ke masa lalu... gimana ya... rumah kayu... temple kuno... trus biksu2 kecil lagi beraktivitas under the evening sunlight....... hehehe
balik tgl 14 lagi... makan malam bareng temen kantor... Mekong River seaweednya (riverweed kali ya harusnya hehehe) rada aneh, pahit2 gitu.... mentahannya lebih aneh lagi, pertamanya aku kira dendeng, warna abu2 gitu trus ada potongan bawang putih kering, wijen, dll...
Oct 15
paginya meeting lagi... sore nya bareng teman2 jalan ke Tad Sea waterfall lagi (karena si kangmas kan belum ke sana n tadinya mau ke Vat Xieng Thong tapi akhirnya ga jadi karena ga cukup waktu, abis orang2 tuh seneng "berkubang" di air terjun nya hehehehe)
trus makan malam bareng orang2 lagi... dendeng sapi nya enak deh, trus makanan yg khas lagi itu sambel Luang Prabang: semacam sambel terasi manis (matang) dng potongan2 kulit sapi rebus... enak juga sih.... Makanan di LPB ini emang beda dng di VTE katanya....
sampe di LPB sekitar jam 14.00, guesthouse nya lumayan bagus lah.. tapi ga ada jendela hehehe... masih baru bangunannya... kecil sih.. 18 USD pake breakfast (2 telur goreng plus baguette plus orange juice yg manis banget n pisang) katanya yg punya hotel itu orang Vietnam... masih muda tapi usahanya macam2 di LPB... emang lumayan banyak orang Vietnam disitu....
katanya sebelum th 1975 (sebelum Laos jadi negara sosialis), yg banyak berdagang adalah orang Cina, tapi setelah th 75 yg banyak jadi pengusaha atau pedagang malah orang Vietnam....
trus checking meeting room di Pansea hotel (udah ganti nama jadi nama Prancis apa gitu aku lupa)... weh, room rate nya 200 - 400 USD.... tapi untuk kita mereka mau kasih 140 USD (tetep aja mahal bok :D) tapi bagus deh... meeting room nya homy banget... ada sofa nya, buku2 novel dan travel guide dalam berbagai bahasa..... asri emang....
trus jalan2 keliling kota... ga besar kotanya.... tapi cukup sejuk karena daerah pegunungan.... transportasi yg murah naik ojek (seperti beca tapi ditarik sepeda motor, bisa muat 2 orang) atau tuk2.... bayarnya 5,000 - 10,000 kiep = 0.5 - 1 USD per orang
trus ke Tad Sea waterfall, sekitar 30 menit dari city center naik van terus naik boat kecil... rada takut juga sih... tapi waterfall nya lumayan bagus... cascading, terus airnya kehijau2an gitu spt warna jade.... karena sekitar situ batunya limestone (katanya sih :P aku mah ga tau apa hubungannya limestone dng warna kehijauan airnya)
trus pulang ke hotel.....
Oct 14
pagi ada meeting kecil sampe sekitar jam 11 an... excited karena 12.30 my kangmas sampe bareng2 teman2 kantorku yg ga ikut ke Vientiane, sekitar 20 orang gitu hehehe ... trus 12.15 kita berangkat jemput (cuma 10 menit ke airport).. trus makan siang, LPB pork sausage nya enak lho... trus aku meeting sampe jam 18.30... si kangmas sewa sepeda, jalan2 keliling cari objek foto... vat2 (temple) gitu hehehe
tapi rada heran deh, kan kota ini di declared oleh UNESCO sbg World Heritage... tapi apanya sih yg dijadiin Heritage... katanya sih bangunan lama ga boleh dipugar harus dilestarikan.. tapi banyak juga bangunan baru... tapi trus jadinya bangunan bank nya pun jadi jelek gitu, gedung lama (cuma ada 1 bank pemerintah deh, bank swasta kagak ada)
dan kota ini katanya masih kalah tua dng Ayutthaya (yg relatif ga terlalu tua juga) apalagi dng Sukothai...
tapi ada 1 tempat yg kita ga sengaja temukan tgl 16 itu, waktu blusukan masuk ke jalan kecil dari jalan utama night market nya.... seperti kita transported ke masa lalu... gimana ya... rumah kayu... temple kuno... trus biksu2 kecil lagi beraktivitas under the evening sunlight....... hehehe
balik tgl 14 lagi... makan malam bareng temen kantor... Mekong River seaweednya (riverweed kali ya harusnya hehehe) rada aneh, pahit2 gitu.... mentahannya lebih aneh lagi, pertamanya aku kira dendeng, warna abu2 gitu trus ada potongan bawang putih kering, wijen, dll...
Oct 15
paginya meeting lagi... sore nya bareng teman2 jalan ke Tad Sea waterfall lagi (karena si kangmas kan belum ke sana n tadinya mau ke Vat Xieng Thong tapi akhirnya ga jadi karena ga cukup waktu, abis orang2 tuh seneng "berkubang" di air terjun nya hehehehe)
trus makan malam bareng orang2 lagi... dendeng sapi nya enak deh, trus makanan yg khas lagi itu sambel Luang Prabang: semacam sambel terasi manis (matang) dng potongan2 kulit sapi rebus... enak juga sih.... Makanan di LPB ini emang beda dng di VTE katanya....
Oct 16
harusnya kita mau ikut ke Pak Ou cave bareng orang2 kantor... tapi ketinggalan karena salah info... mereka ubah rencana dari jam 8.30 ke jam 8... ya udah deh sewa van sendiri... 35 USD.... perjalanan 1.5 jam trus naik boat 5,000 kiep/ orang (= 0.5 USD) pulang pergi... guanya sih jelek juga hehehe banyak patung Buddha, konon sampe 4,000 patung (patung kecil2,setinggi kira2 10 cm gitu dihitung juga mungkin).... trus ada gua lain yg mesti naik tangga dulu ... hehehe lumayan juga utk exercise... lebih exercise lagi buat si kangmas yg kemana2 bawa tas kamera berat :P...
trus balik kota, liat Vat Xieng Thong yg ada lukisannya orang2an itu, bagus juga.... trus balik ke hotel, makan siang di resto sebelah hotel... ketemu boss besar dan istrinya (istrinya baru datang) dan kolega dari Lao yg ternyata belum pulang (yg lain udah pulang tgl 16 siang itu)... akhirnya makan siangnya dibayarin hehehehe
trus sore jalan ke night market... mirip juga dng di Las Ramblas nya Barcelona, kiri kanan toko trus ada cafe2 jual makanan Western: baguette, cake, pizza, creme soup dll... lumayan banyak bule nya.... trus kita nemu Walkman Village spt yg di VTE itu (yg jual CD, DVD dan barang branded palsu) persis juga jualannya..... kita makan baguette yg dikasih ham, keju, irisan tomat gitu n banana-chocolate pie (tapi ga enak pie nya) trus pulang....
Oct 17
Jalan kaki ke market itu lagi cari sarapan soalnya bosen dng sarapan hotel (tiap hari 2 telur goreng plus baguette, alamak)... kita jalan sekitar 30 menit an santai2 plus foto2, rada sepi karena hari Minggu... trus aku perhatiin wanitanya banyak yg pake celana panjang, padahal sehari2 pake rok lilit semacam sarung gitu (katanya sih diharuskan ama pemerintahnya), tapi ga tau apa emang cuma kalo Minggu boleh pake celana panjang hehehe
kita pilih cafe yg keliatan bagus n bersih, tapi duh makanannya ga enak.. pesen pizza, katanya harus tunggu 45 menit... batal .... trus pesen bread-pudding apple n chocolate fudge... ga terlalu enak... minum kopi Laos... rasanya kaya permen Chelsea (itu tuh permen zaman aku kecil), ga kayak kopi..... trus pesen creme soup mushroom.... yucky ..... seperti kepala susu (whey) gitu trus airnya rada2 terpisah.... kecewa deh kecewa.... hehehe....
sebetulnya kepengen makan itu tuh semacam cereal yg banyak dimakan orang2 situ... jadi seperti tangkai2 hijau gitu di atasnya ada biji pentul spt kuncup bunga lotus tapi kecil2...paling 0.5 cm an gitu tingginya biji nya..... trus dimakan langsung gitu... tapi pas kita jalan balik ga keliatan lagi yg jualan... ya udah deh....
siap2 pulang.... 12.00 ketemu ama orang2 kantor yg juga extend trus berangkat bareng ke airport... balik Bangkok... seneng deh :D
hehehe.... duh kalo di Indo, ke airport Semarang ato Riau gitu udah ngomel, tapi liat airport domestic di VTE... rasanya jadi bagus deh yg di Indo... trus mo nge print aja susah bukan main.... udah terbiasa dimanjain dng fasilitas di AIT.... :P
Vientiane, Oct 11 - 13, 2004
Cerita ah, mumpung masih anget.... Pake Bahasa Indo aja... biar orang Lao ga bisa baca hehehe... Aku udah denger tentang Lao yg termasuk salah satu negara miskin di kawasan ASEAN ini... kayaknya cuma sedikit lebih baik daripada Cambodia...
Begitu turun di airport Vientiane, international airport nya lumayan bagus, better than my expectation. Trus sampe di hotel, ampun, hotel nya tua banget: cat nya udah memudar, kaca nya kaca nako gitu, menghadap ke jalan raya (persis di seberangnya udah Mekong river) jadi noisy banget... kabel2nya ngga teratur... kayanya dari tahun 60 an gitu ga pernah diperbarui... meeting room nya juga mengecewakan.... padahal biasanya kantorku selalu ngadain acara ginian di hotel bintang 4 minimal... ya karena yg ngatur kantor satelit kita di Lao, ya gimana lagi... yg menentukan venue nya kan bukan aku.... aku kira para boss2 sudah setuju... ya udah...
Tadinya aku kira emang itu udah hotel terbagus di sana, tapi ternyata ngga juga... ada Lao Plaza hotel yg baru dan bagus... trus ada lagi hotel baru yg lagi dibangun, investment dari Malaysia, kaya nya luxurious bener.....
Tapi di hotel tempat aku nginap itu signal AIS bisa diterima dng jelas dan termasuk local call katanya... emang sih di seberang Mekong itu kan udah Thailand... trus aku minta kangmas beliin pulsa top up dari ATM di Bangkok, ternyata malah account pre-paid ku di lock, ga bisa telpon/ditelpon/ kirim sms lagi... cuma bisa terima sms thok... jadi senewen dehh.... mana kalo mau telpon ke Bkk lewat hotel susah (harus lewat operator, trus line nya sibuk terus kalo ke hp, kalo ke rumah ga ada yg angkat), jadi sebellll.....
Kota Vientiane sendiri kecil.... sepanjang jalan di mana hotelku berada itu (Fangum Road) banyak toko dan warung makan, tapi di seberangnya (Mekong river) banyak restaurant di atas kapal (dinner cruise gitu lah)... ada satu toko yg jualan CD dan DVD bajakan murah2... DVD 80 B = 2 USD, CD 60 B = 1.5 USD... trus toko itu juga jualan baju dan tas branded tapi palsu (Prada, Gucci, dsb), ga terlalu murah dan ga terlalu bagus kualitas nya....
Trus ada yg namanya Vertical airport... semacam tiruan Arc de Triomph gitu... disebut vertical airport karena tadinya beton yg dipake utk membangun menara itu ditujukan utk membangun airport... tapi ga jadi... karena... apa ya... lupa :P
Trus ada yg namanya morning market dan evening market... tapi yg morning market itu juga buka nya sampe sore... jualannya dompet2.. quilt... semacam collage dari kain gitu... duh gimana ya mendeskripsikannya... susah hehehe... trus ada juga quilt yg motifnya lukisan orang2 gitu dari bordiran dan ada ceritanya.... menurut aku sih jelek.. .tapi kata kangmas (dan emang aku liat) itu lukisan diambil dari satu temple yg terkenal di Luang Prabang, i.e.: Vat Xieng Thong.
Harga nya lebih murah daripada di Bangkok, tapi ternyata di LPB lebih murah lagi hehehehe untung aku ga beli banyak...
Barang kerajinan peraknya juga banyak... trus yg lain sih kain2 dan selendang yg mirip2 punya Thai... kalo barang snacks gitu kebanyakan produk Thai... makanannya mirip2 juga lah dng Thai dan Indo... nasi goreng... dsb...
Oh ya, di Vientiane ini banyak Land Cruisers lho hehehe, soalnya banyak kantor2 lembaga bantuan international to alleviate poverty gitu lah.... orang Jepang lumayan banyak...
aku ke kantor Ministry of Industry and Handicraft (yg menangani electricity di Laos, lucu ya hehehe), ke bagian Rural Electrification, bangunannya jelek, kamar mandi nya duh......
Katanya gaji pegawai pemerintah 30 - 40 USD per bulan... kecil banget ya... ga tau gimana bisa hidup ya... mungkin dapat sampingan kali ya...
Pulsa cellphone sama dng Thailand, 3 B per menit = 0.1 cent USD lah.. kalo makanan lebih murah daripada Thai...
Trus sempat jalan2 ke That Luang, bagus juga, temple keemasan gitu... trus liat pabrik Beerlao... hehehe beer ini enak sih, ga terlalu pahit....
Nah pas tgl 13 nya berangkat ke LPB (kadang ditulis Luang Phabang), domestic airportnya tua banget... kecil... n ga terawat lah... mana pesawat kita ditunda 1.5 jam karena pesawatnya belum datang... (di tempat sebelumnya tidak bisa take off karena cuaca buruk).... dari jam 10.30 jadi jam 12.00 akhirnya kita makan siang di airport... tapi yg di international (deket sih), buffet cuma 4.5 USD tapi international buffet: BBQ, makanan Jepang, macem2 cocktail, juice.... worth the money deh....
Akhirnya sekitar jam 12.00 kita masuk pesawat hehehe (maximised waktu untuk buffet nya), rada lari2 sih... tapi on time... pesawatnya kecil pake propeller gitu.. tapi untung lah lancar2 aja sampe LPB
to be continued
Begitu turun di airport Vientiane, international airport nya lumayan bagus, better than my expectation. Trus sampe di hotel, ampun, hotel nya tua banget: cat nya udah memudar, kaca nya kaca nako gitu, menghadap ke jalan raya (persis di seberangnya udah Mekong river) jadi noisy banget... kabel2nya ngga teratur... kayanya dari tahun 60 an gitu ga pernah diperbarui... meeting room nya juga mengecewakan.... padahal biasanya kantorku selalu ngadain acara ginian di hotel bintang 4 minimal... ya karena yg ngatur kantor satelit kita di Lao, ya gimana lagi... yg menentukan venue nya kan bukan aku.... aku kira para boss2 sudah setuju... ya udah...
Tadinya aku kira emang itu udah hotel terbagus di sana, tapi ternyata ngga juga... ada Lao Plaza hotel yg baru dan bagus... trus ada lagi hotel baru yg lagi dibangun, investment dari Malaysia, kaya nya luxurious bener.....
Tapi di hotel tempat aku nginap itu signal AIS bisa diterima dng jelas dan termasuk local call katanya... emang sih di seberang Mekong itu kan udah Thailand... trus aku minta kangmas beliin pulsa top up dari ATM di Bangkok, ternyata malah account pre-paid ku di lock, ga bisa telpon/ditelpon/ kirim sms lagi... cuma bisa terima sms thok... jadi senewen dehh.... mana kalo mau telpon ke Bkk lewat hotel susah (harus lewat operator, trus line nya sibuk terus kalo ke hp, kalo ke rumah ga ada yg angkat), jadi sebellll.....
Kota Vientiane sendiri kecil.... sepanjang jalan di mana hotelku berada itu (Fangum Road) banyak toko dan warung makan, tapi di seberangnya (Mekong river) banyak restaurant di atas kapal (dinner cruise gitu lah)... ada satu toko yg jualan CD dan DVD bajakan murah2... DVD 80 B = 2 USD, CD 60 B = 1.5 USD... trus toko itu juga jualan baju dan tas branded tapi palsu (Prada, Gucci, dsb), ga terlalu murah dan ga terlalu bagus kualitas nya....
Trus ada yg namanya Vertical airport... semacam tiruan Arc de Triomph gitu... disebut vertical airport karena tadinya beton yg dipake utk membangun menara itu ditujukan utk membangun airport... tapi ga jadi... karena... apa ya... lupa :P
Trus ada yg namanya morning market dan evening market... tapi yg morning market itu juga buka nya sampe sore... jualannya dompet2.. quilt... semacam collage dari kain gitu... duh gimana ya mendeskripsikannya... susah hehehe... trus ada juga quilt yg motifnya lukisan orang2 gitu dari bordiran dan ada ceritanya.... menurut aku sih jelek.. .tapi kata kangmas (dan emang aku liat) itu lukisan diambil dari satu temple yg terkenal di Luang Prabang, i.e.: Vat Xieng Thong.
Harga nya lebih murah daripada di Bangkok, tapi ternyata di LPB lebih murah lagi hehehehe untung aku ga beli banyak...
Barang kerajinan peraknya juga banyak... trus yg lain sih kain2 dan selendang yg mirip2 punya Thai... kalo barang snacks gitu kebanyakan produk Thai... makanannya mirip2 juga lah dng Thai dan Indo... nasi goreng... dsb...
Oh ya, di Vientiane ini banyak Land Cruisers lho hehehe, soalnya banyak kantor2 lembaga bantuan international to alleviate poverty gitu lah.... orang Jepang lumayan banyak...
aku ke kantor Ministry of Industry and Handicraft (yg menangani electricity di Laos, lucu ya hehehe), ke bagian Rural Electrification, bangunannya jelek, kamar mandi nya duh......
Katanya gaji pegawai pemerintah 30 - 40 USD per bulan... kecil banget ya... ga tau gimana bisa hidup ya... mungkin dapat sampingan kali ya...
Pulsa cellphone sama dng Thailand, 3 B per menit = 0.1 cent USD lah.. kalo makanan lebih murah daripada Thai...
Trus sempat jalan2 ke That Luang, bagus juga, temple keemasan gitu... trus liat pabrik Beerlao... hehehe beer ini enak sih, ga terlalu pahit....
Nah pas tgl 13 nya berangkat ke LPB (kadang ditulis Luang Phabang), domestic airportnya tua banget... kecil... n ga terawat lah... mana pesawat kita ditunda 1.5 jam karena pesawatnya belum datang... (di tempat sebelumnya tidak bisa take off karena cuaca buruk).... dari jam 10.30 jadi jam 12.00 akhirnya kita makan siang di airport... tapi yg di international (deket sih), buffet cuma 4.5 USD tapi international buffet: BBQ, makanan Jepang, macem2 cocktail, juice.... worth the money deh....
Akhirnya sekitar jam 12.00 kita masuk pesawat hehehe (maximised waktu untuk buffet nya), rada lari2 sih... tapi on time... pesawatnya kecil pake propeller gitu.. tapi untung lah lancar2 aja sampe LPB
to be continued
after some time
Hehehe, dah lama ga nge blog ya... my life was so awfully busy since last September
- on October 5-7 my office joined a big exhibition, and some VIPs (director generals from the ministries from 8 countries) are invited and I had to take care for the accommodation and transportation for some of them... it was not easy.... :P in some cases, I got the information I need only at the last minute... had to improvise a lot.. and not only that, I had to think about the exhibition too.... though my colleagues have helped me a lot with the preparation.... thank God it's over....
- on October 11-17 I went to Lao PDR... just went back yesterday.... on Oct 12 in Vientiane there was a seminar for which I was responsible for the logistics, checking that the flight bookings, visas, hotel bookings, transportation, presentation materials, budget, meeting room arrangement, documentation, LCD and computer are OK... not a big seminar... only 80 people and the local office has helped with the preparation.... then on Oct 13 I went to Luang Prabang... on Oct 14 my kangmas arrived.... but I had meeting on Oct 14 - 15 so he went around by himself then on Oct 16 we went together and on 17 back to Bangkok... I will write about my trip in Lao in another posting
just a small thing, wherever I went in ASEAN region, people always take me as one of the locals... they talked to me in their own languages... some people don't believe that I cannot understand a single word :D I guess people in this region have similar physical features, though actually I think I can differentiate one from the other...
- on October 5-7 my office joined a big exhibition, and some VIPs (director generals from the ministries from 8 countries) are invited and I had to take care for the accommodation and transportation for some of them... it was not easy.... :P in some cases, I got the information I need only at the last minute... had to improvise a lot.. and not only that, I had to think about the exhibition too.... though my colleagues have helped me a lot with the preparation.... thank God it's over....
- on October 11-17 I went to Lao PDR... just went back yesterday.... on Oct 12 in Vientiane there was a seminar for which I was responsible for the logistics, checking that the flight bookings, visas, hotel bookings, transportation, presentation materials, budget, meeting room arrangement, documentation, LCD and computer are OK... not a big seminar... only 80 people and the local office has helped with the preparation.... then on Oct 13 I went to Luang Prabang... on Oct 14 my kangmas arrived.... but I had meeting on Oct 14 - 15 so he went around by himself then on Oct 16 we went together and on 17 back to Bangkok... I will write about my trip in Lao in another posting
just a small thing, wherever I went in ASEAN region, people always take me as one of the locals... they talked to me in their own languages... some people don't believe that I cannot understand a single word :D I guess people in this region have similar physical features, though actually I think I can differentiate one from the other...
Friday, September 10, 2004
A S A P
I use this term so often when replying emails related to my work, especially these days.... I will have many things to handle in October... it will be a helluva month.... and after that too... coz then we have to prepare to close down the office....
Come to think of it... as soon as possible is a very ambiguous term
First it may mean that I will prioritize whatever they are asking for and I will get back to them within no time
But it can also mean, that -whatever they are asking for- will not be possible in the near future and they will just have to wait and wait and wait coz I have assured them that I will get back to them whenever the answer is there.... so if I haven't replied, means the answer is not there yet.... and they should not bother me with another email.... isn't it?
Come to think of it... as soon as possible is a very ambiguous term
First it may mean that I will prioritize whatever they are asking for and I will get back to them within no time
But it can also mean, that -whatever they are asking for- will not be possible in the near future and they will just have to wait and wait and wait coz I have assured them that I will get back to them whenever the answer is there.... so if I haven't replied, means the answer is not there yet.... and they should not bother me with another email.... isn't it?
Monday, September 06, 2004
C'est la vie
Life-is not as easy-as what they wrote-in the books
We-can-read-as many-books on interpersonal skills-as we want
But-life-and-people-are-unpredictable
They-may-not-react-as-what is written-there in the books
Mais-c'est la vie
We-learn-little by little-from our-experiences
Hoping-that-today-we will be-a teeny weeny bit wiser-than yesterday
C'est la vie
We-hope-that we can see-the future
But-it-is-so-impossible
We-may-have-our doubts-about-what tomorrow may bring
But-we-just-have-to go on with life
And-life-most of the times-does not give you-many choices
Sometimes-there's only one-choice
Just take it-or leave it
C'est la vie
We-can-read-as many-books on interpersonal skills-as we want
But-life-and-people-are-unpredictable
They-may-not-react-as-what is written-there in the books
Mais-c'est la vie
We-learn-little by little-from our-experiences
Hoping-that-today-we will be-a teeny weeny bit wiser-than yesterday
C'est la vie
We-hope-that we can see-the future
But-it-is-so-impossible
We-may-have-our doubts-about-what tomorrow may bring
But-we-just-have-to go on with life
And-life-most of the times-does not give you-many choices
Sometimes-there's only one-choice
Just take it-or leave it
C'est la vie
Thursday, August 26, 2004
L'amour de ma vie
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms
How can I not love you – Joy Enriquez
Who is he - who must not be named :P - who has made me head over heel falling in love with for the last (almost) 2 years?
I always call him my 'kangmas' especially when I'm in a good mood :P
So... let me tell you about us...
First time I met him, I think was in January 2000 when I came to this campus for study. I'm not sure about the date... I was so shy coz I think he's so *ehm ehm*... I was not in a relationship at that time, just broken up with my ex..... but I could never have expected to start 'something special' with him....
first of all, I -with all my lack of confidence- could not manage to talk to him for more than 2 sentences in the one year I know him during my study...
second of all, I was sure that he already had a girlfriend back home, though none of my Indo friends knew the real truth at that time... and once I overheard when he called someone at the public phone... I was there behind him queueing.... he talked so sweetly... so I guessed that he was calling his girlfriend.... * kangmas, did I ever tell you about this? sorry if I did not *
So... he graduated before I did coz he also enrolled before I, and then he went home to find a job in Indonesia.... but the strange thing is we met at the Changi airport, though we did not know that the other was flying on that day... can you imagine... such a big airport and we just met there! but after that there was no communication between us.
but then... when I was in Europe for training... he sent me e-mails informing that he got a job in this campus... the very same old campus where we met... so I informed my friends who were still in this campus.. informing that he was coming back... so they teased me.... they asked me, why would he sent emails to me and not to the others.... so they said he liked me... but I didn't believe them.....
to be continued.....
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms
How can I not love you – Joy Enriquez
Who is he - who must not be named :P - who has made me head over heel falling in love with for the last (almost) 2 years?
I always call him my 'kangmas' especially when I'm in a good mood :P
So... let me tell you about us...
First time I met him, I think was in January 2000 when I came to this campus for study. I'm not sure about the date... I was so shy coz I think he's so *ehm ehm*... I was not in a relationship at that time, just broken up with my ex..... but I could never have expected to start 'something special' with him....
first of all, I -with all my lack of confidence- could not manage to talk to him for more than 2 sentences in the one year I know him during my study...
second of all, I was sure that he already had a girlfriend back home, though none of my Indo friends knew the real truth at that time... and once I overheard when he called someone at the public phone... I was there behind him queueing.... he talked so sweetly... so I guessed that he was calling his girlfriend.... * kangmas, did I ever tell you about this? sorry if I did not *
So... he graduated before I did coz he also enrolled before I, and then he went home to find a job in Indonesia.... but the strange thing is we met at the Changi airport, though we did not know that the other was flying on that day... can you imagine... such a big airport and we just met there! but after that there was no communication between us.
but then... when I was in Europe for training... he sent me e-mails informing that he got a job in this campus... the very same old campus where we met... so I informed my friends who were still in this campus.. informing that he was coming back... so they teased me.... they asked me, why would he sent emails to me and not to the others.... so they said he liked me... but I didn't believe them.....
to be continued.....
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
What I want in live
- I'm drafting a post about my kangmas and me, but not quite ready yet :P -
For my bachelor study I lived in a city which is 6 - 8 hours away from my home town. I took public van going home and back to that city (though I did not go home often then). I have lots of time to daydream and imagine what kind of life I want for myself in the next 10 years - other times when I sat next to a lady of my mother's age, usually they will happily chat with me and treated me when we stopped for meal hehehe but then I did not have time to daydream - During the daydreams, I even picked names for my children already.... hehehe....
What I want is just simple (or is it really?). I just want a happy & loving family, quite unlike what I had to go through in my earlier phases of life. I believe I can.... though sometimes I also have my doubt.... coz some people say that when you have a family of your own, you will just repeat the same pattern as your parents.... I hope not... I really hope that I will not.....
I want to be a loving wife and best friend to my husband, who can understand, love and support him throughout our lifetime together - hiks... I've failed several times here already, often times I could not be an understanding gf to my kangmas, it's so hard..... -
I want to be a loving mother and best friend to my children (two at least :P, the first one will be a boy then the second will be a girl hehehe), with whom they can talk when they are facing problems in life, to whom they will never be afraid. A mother who can make them feel secure and make them understand that I'll always be there for them. I'll be working, but it will not take most of my time, career is of second importance to me......
That time I also dreamed that my husband will be a loving husband to me (treat him like a king and he will treat you like a queen.... an elder friend once told me... I think it's quite true), a husband who will always be there for me when I need him - sometimes I think I'm quite a needy person :P - And he will also be a loving father who will play with the kids when they are small, one who can guide them with his wisdom and teach them lessons of life.
I just want to have a small house painted in beige or other pastel colors.... lively colors for the kid's rooms and kitchen.... simple and minimally furnished... no useless kitchen utensils or other things around... For earlier years, 2 bedrooms will do..... For later years, I dream to have a house with 4 bedrooms (1 master, 2 kids' and 1 guest's) and at least 2 bathrooms (with bath tub and jacuzzi hehehe, c'mon, I can dream what I want, can't I?) and 2 separate toilets.
ah.... that's my dream...
For my bachelor study I lived in a city which is 6 - 8 hours away from my home town. I took public van going home and back to that city (though I did not go home often then). I have lots of time to daydream and imagine what kind of life I want for myself in the next 10 years - other times when I sat next to a lady of my mother's age, usually they will happily chat with me and treated me when we stopped for meal hehehe but then I did not have time to daydream - During the daydreams, I even picked names for my children already.... hehehe....
What I want is just simple (or is it really?). I just want a happy & loving family, quite unlike what I had to go through in my earlier phases of life. I believe I can.... though sometimes I also have my doubt.... coz some people say that when you have a family of your own, you will just repeat the same pattern as your parents.... I hope not... I really hope that I will not.....
I want to be a loving wife and best friend to my husband, who can understand, love and support him throughout our lifetime together - hiks... I've failed several times here already, often times I could not be an understanding gf to my kangmas, it's so hard..... -
I want to be a loving mother and best friend to my children (two at least :P, the first one will be a boy then the second will be a girl hehehe), with whom they can talk when they are facing problems in life, to whom they will never be afraid. A mother who can make them feel secure and make them understand that I'll always be there for them. I'll be working, but it will not take most of my time, career is of second importance to me......
That time I also dreamed that my husband will be a loving husband to me (treat him like a king and he will treat you like a queen.... an elder friend once told me... I think it's quite true), a husband who will always be there for me when I need him - sometimes I think I'm quite a needy person :P - And he will also be a loving father who will play with the kids when they are small, one who can guide them with his wisdom and teach them lessons of life.
I just want to have a small house painted in beige or other pastel colors.... lively colors for the kid's rooms and kitchen.... simple and minimally furnished... no useless kitchen utensils or other things around... For earlier years, 2 bedrooms will do..... For later years, I dream to have a house with 4 bedrooms (1 master, 2 kids' and 1 guest's) and at least 2 bathrooms (with bath tub and jacuzzi hehehe, c'mon, I can dream what I want, can't I?) and 2 separate toilets.
ah.... that's my dream...
Monday, August 23, 2004
air - agua - aqua - wasser - water - vesi
Dooo.... masih nyambung cerita kemaren yg aku di tes and was suggested to lose 12 kgs, he also told me that my body is lacking water. I didn't know that I still need to drink more water. I thought I had taken enough water in.
Just want to inform you all... especially ladies.... The first time I had a urinary tract infection (UTI) was in Oct 2001 when I was in Finland, maybe because when travelling I drank less and often times I had to hold when I wanted to go to the restroom. The doctor told me that it will re-occur from time to time and that 70% of all women have it. So I was given medicine and the pain disappear (I had felt pain in my stomach when I was walking and also it hurt when peeing *sorry*).
Then for long time I was OK, now that I'm working and travels a lot, again often times I drink less and have to hold when I need to go to the toilet. So it occured again... maybe 1 year ago... I forgot.... so after that he (wait till the next post :D) always reminds me to drink a lot... so I do....
in the morning I took at least 0.5 liter of water and also throughout the day.... but still it's not enough according to the test.
So starting from that day, I drink 0.5 liter in the morning, another 1 liter before lunch and another 1 liter in the evening. I notice some changes in me... now I easily perspire (I didn't perspire much before even when it's hot) and I feel thirsty so often and each time I have to drink 0.5 liter... hehehe but I guess it's good for me....
Oh one more thing, I was told also that now there are many people ill because they drink less and they eat less fruit and vegetables... their blood becomes thick.. because when our body is lacking of water, it will take the water from the blood.... it's not a hoax... it's real....
so... I'd like to encourage you all to drink alot.... cos it will do us good ...
Just want to inform you all... especially ladies.... The first time I had a urinary tract infection (UTI) was in Oct 2001 when I was in Finland, maybe because when travelling I drank less and often times I had to hold when I wanted to go to the restroom. The doctor told me that it will re-occur from time to time and that 70% of all women have it. So I was given medicine and the pain disappear (I had felt pain in my stomach when I was walking and also it hurt when peeing *sorry*).
Then for long time I was OK, now that I'm working and travels a lot, again often times I drink less and have to hold when I need to go to the toilet. So it occured again... maybe 1 year ago... I forgot.... so after that he (wait till the next post :D) always reminds me to drink a lot... so I do....
in the morning I took at least 0.5 liter of water and also throughout the day.... but still it's not enough according to the test.
So starting from that day, I drink 0.5 liter in the morning, another 1 liter before lunch and another 1 liter in the evening. I notice some changes in me... now I easily perspire (I didn't perspire much before even when it's hot) and I feel thirsty so often and each time I have to drink 0.5 liter... hehehe but I guess it's good for me....
Oh one more thing, I was told also that now there are many people ill because they drink less and they eat less fruit and vegetables... their blood becomes thick.. because when our body is lacking of water, it will take the water from the blood.... it's not a hoax... it's real....
so... I'd like to encourage you all to drink alot.... cos it will do us good ...
Friday, August 20, 2004
Two hearts - one heartbeat - literally ;P
Yesterday both of us were being examined at the fitness club that we just joined mid of this month. A bit expensive, but it worths the money. Yesterday was our 2nd time.
It was amusing (at least to me).... we have exactly the same count of heartbeat when resting :P ... some other measurements are the same -or almost- but not so amusing to me :D coz my measurement should have been smaller than his :(
Anyway... good to know that both of us have good health.... though... the trainer suggested that I should lose 12 kgs of weight..... uaaaaaaaa :(( hiks... hiks.... but no.. no... I think it's too much for me... maybe just 5 - 8 kgs is enough.....
It was amusing (at least to me).... we have exactly the same count of heartbeat when resting :P ... some other measurements are the same -or almost- but not so amusing to me :D coz my measurement should have been smaller than his :(
Anyway... good to know that both of us have good health.... though... the trainer suggested that I should lose 12 kgs of weight..... uaaaaaaaa :(( hiks... hiks.... but no.. no... I think it's too much for me... maybe just 5 - 8 kgs is enough.....
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Money money money money money
Money can change people... can it?
Or is it just our true selves that shows when we're facing the temptation of money?
Business is business, money is money,
friend or no friend, brother or no brother
they are different things
and are mutually exclusives
Hmmm... I'm confused about myself... when it comes to money... sometimes I think I hold it too tight -I use 'modesty' as my excuse-... hehehe but other times I can spend it so carelessly -which I might regret later-....
Now I think I'm a bit obsessed to earn money hehehe.... is it my maternal instinct? -no, I'm not pregnant, thank you :D just read from the book that women have the instinct to prepare the nest for their children-? or is it just the real 'money-eyed' me? :D
I just realised this recently... or is it the fear of not getting any job soon enough after my contract here end?
Or is it just our true selves that shows when we're facing the temptation of money?
Business is business, money is money,
friend or no friend, brother or no brother
they are different things
and are mutually exclusives
Hmmm... I'm confused about myself... when it comes to money... sometimes I think I hold it too tight -I use 'modesty' as my excuse-... hehehe but other times I can spend it so carelessly -which I might regret later-....
Now I think I'm a bit obsessed to earn money hehehe.... is it my maternal instinct? -no, I'm not pregnant, thank you :D just read from the book that women have the instinct to prepare the nest for their children-? or is it just the real 'money-eyed' me? :D
I just realised this recently... or is it the fear of not getting any job soon enough after my contract here end?
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Aug 18, 2004
Youngsters nowadays
Just did some blog walking.... *wow*... some blogs are really *wow*.... though the owners are just 21 - 22 y.o....... I could never have written something like that when I was at their age.... Not even now... maybe not ever....
Yesterday my friend told me about the 12 y.o. daughter of my boss. She is so good in writing and she has a plan to write a book about great people in her country of origin. Now she's there in the country, about to interview an ex-president. The interview will be broadcasted by a tv channel too. The book will be titled 'Mrs. ABC in the eye of a 12 year old'
That's really *wow*
Why can't you understand me? why can't I understand you?
Just observing from my experience... often times we really cannot understand why other people are doing what they are doing.... why they react the way they do in a certain situation.....
It seems so absurd to us.... sometimes so irrational.... but what to do about it? they are what they are... and we are what we are....
We have just to accept that....... we don't have any right to change them or even just to expect them to change... take it or leave it as I would say......
Just did some blog walking.... *wow*... some blogs are really *wow*.... though the owners are just 21 - 22 y.o....... I could never have written something like that when I was at their age.... Not even now... maybe not ever....
Yesterday my friend told me about the 12 y.o. daughter of my boss. She is so good in writing and she has a plan to write a book about great people in her country of origin. Now she's there in the country, about to interview an ex-president. The interview will be broadcasted by a tv channel too. The book will be titled 'Mrs. ABC in the eye of a 12 year old'
That's really *wow*
Why can't you understand me? why can't I understand you?
Just observing from my experience... often times we really cannot understand why other people are doing what they are doing.... why they react the way they do in a certain situation.....
It seems so absurd to us.... sometimes so irrational.... but what to do about it? they are what they are... and we are what we are....
We have just to accept that....... we don't have any right to change them or even just to expect them to change... take it or leave it as I would say......
Friday, August 13, 2004
Cantik
Kaya'nya udah basi ya... tapi anyway I want to write it down... if not for anyone, at least I do it for myself... so that I can read it over and over again when I need it :D I have a chronic lacking of self confidence, now I'm better than I was in my earlier phases of life, but it still occurs every now and then.....
Every woman wants to be beautiful... the producers of cosmetics, the owners of slimming and beauty clinics, the fashion designers want women to want to be beautiful....
Definition of beauty
My conclusion on what is called a beautiful woman by today's society in general
1. if you have a barbie-like body
2. if you have fair or white complexion with no flaws
3. if you have long, black or beautifully dyed, flowing hair
Well if you are lacking one - or all the above, like I am -... it might be comforting to read what I got from an email down below.... and to know that some people also define confidence, intellectual, cheerful disposition, or kindness as beauty.... there are things we can change and there are things we cannot change.... here's my favorite
GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
short version of The Serenity Prayer - Reinhold Neibuhr-1926
Though there are different ways of defining beauty too, but it's not the mainstream. Like in the previous century, the more plump a woman is, the more beautiful - gosh, I wish I had lived in that era, hehehe -. Or in the Northern part of Thailand, I heard that the longer the neck is the more beautiful (the Long neck Padaung tribe in Mae Hong Sorn)....
Facts on Figures
Every woman wants to be beautiful... the producers of cosmetics, the owners of slimming and beauty clinics, the fashion designers want women to want to be beautiful....
Definition of beauty
My conclusion on what is called a beautiful woman by today's society in general
1. if you have a barbie-like body
2. if you have fair or white complexion with no flaws
3. if you have long, black or beautifully dyed, flowing hair
Well if you are lacking one - or all the above, like I am -... it might be comforting to read what I got from an email down below.... and to know that some people also define confidence, intellectual, cheerful disposition, or kindness as beauty.... there are things we can change and there are things we cannot change.... here's my favorite
GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
short version of The Serenity Prayer - Reinhold Neibuhr-1926
Though there are different ways of defining beauty too, but it's not the mainstream. Like in the previous century, the more plump a woman is, the more beautiful - gosh, I wish I had lived in that era, hehehe -. Or in the Northern part of Thailand, I heard that the longer the neck is the more beautiful (the Long neck Padaung tribe in Mae Hong Sorn)....
Facts on Figures
There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only eight who do (christine's comment: sometimes I take a look on my surrounding and count how many women really look like supermodels, not so many, really)
If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.
The average woman weighs 144 lbs. (christine's comment: it means 72 kg, I think this was not measured from Asian women) and wears between size 12-14.
One out of every four college-aged women has an eating disorder.
The models in the magazines are airbrushed -- not perfect!
A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty, and shameful.
Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less.
Love and hatred
People say "antara cinta dan benci batasnya cuma setipis sehelai rambut".
Mostly it is said when someone hates another person of the opposite sex. For some cases it's true. I know couples who really hated each other when they first met. But then gradually (= it takes time) they become attached to each other. Opposite attracts? So hatred can turn into love but it takes time.
Does it go also for the reverse? If we love someone, can it also turn into hatred? I'd say yes...
I saw some examples already... couples who hate each other .... sometimes I wonder (and get frightened afterwards) did they never love each other at all? I'm sure they did love each other... otherwise they would not have gotten married at the first place...
It also happens between parents-children or relatives by blood or best friends....
Does it always take a traumatic hurt to turn love into hatred? Extremely harsh words said in a fight?
Or can it happen because of small small heartaches that accumulate throughout the relationship?
How can we hinder it?
Can we really forgive and forget?
What is it exactly that we mean by forgive and forget?
- sorry, I can only ask questions, coz I really don't know the answer -
Mostly it is said when someone hates another person of the opposite sex. For some cases it's true. I know couples who really hated each other when they first met. But then gradually (= it takes time) they become attached to each other. Opposite attracts? So hatred can turn into love but it takes time.
Does it go also for the reverse? If we love someone, can it also turn into hatred? I'd say yes...
I saw some examples already... couples who hate each other .... sometimes I wonder (and get frightened afterwards) did they never love each other at all? I'm sure they did love each other... otherwise they would not have gotten married at the first place...
It also happens between parents-children or relatives by blood or best friends....
Does it always take a traumatic hurt to turn love into hatred? Extremely harsh words said in a fight?
Or can it happen because of small small heartaches that accumulate throughout the relationship?
How can we hinder it?
Can we really forgive and forget?
What is it exactly that we mean by forgive and forget?
- sorry, I can only ask questions, coz I really don't know the answer -
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
My evil twin
Bener ga sih bahwa setiap manusia punya dark side....
Dr. Jekyll dan Mr. Hyde
Di cerita ini Mr. Hyde nya lebih kecil (badannya) dan lebih muda dari Dr. Jekyll karena si Dr. Jekyll itu orang baik sehingga sisi jahatnya itu cuma sedikit (jarang muncul). Kebanyakan orang kaya nya juga gitu ya?
Window.... (lupa deh namanya window apaan :P, sorry terpaksa dikasih --- otherwise berantakan tabel nya)
------aku tidak tahu------!---- aku tidak tahu
3-- orang lain tahu------- !---- orang lain tidak tahu---- 4
_______________________________________
------aku tahu------------ !----- aku tahu
1---- orang lain tahu----- !---orang lain tidak tahu------ 2
Tiap dari kita punya sisi ini... ada sifat2 yg orang lain bisa lihat jelas pada diri kita (window 1) dan kita sadar bahwa kita punya sifat itu (window 1), sedang kalo window 4 itu hanya Tuhan yg tahu....
Aku sering merasa aku ini jahat... tapi ini kayanya masuk window 2 hehehe karena I have evil thoughts .... only thoughts... so kebanyakan only I know.... tapi ada juga yg efeknya bisa dirasakan orang2 tertentu....
I feel so bad about those thoughts... but I cannot help it....
Kenapa jahat
kenapa sih aku (atau manusia pada umumnya) merasa jahat? menurut aku, itu karena
kita udah tahu apa yg baik dan benar... (kalo mau diskusi ttg baik dan benar, please follow the link ke blog nya Bapak Enda ini)
tetapi
kita tidak bisa memenuhi apa yg baik dan benar menurut kita atau memikirkan atau melakukan sesuatu yg kita tahu tidak termasuk kategori baik dan benar... misalnya nih....
aku tahu teman yg baik itu akan melakukan A, B, C, D ... IS, IT, IU, IV (emangnya MSExcel? hehehe).... nah pada saat dimana aku dituntut melakukan A tapi aku tidak melakukan, aku akan merasa aku bukan teman yg baik.... ekstreme nya aku akan merasa aku ini teman yg jahat.... atau misalnya aku melakukan ZZ dimana itu tidak bisa dimasukkan dalam kategori perilaku teman yg baik.....
atau misalnya aku lagi sebel ama satu teman trus aku berpikir 'duuuh nyebelin banget sih dia, pengen aku cekik aja nih orang' *waaakss, jahat sekali ya, hehehe*
Menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri
kalo kita udah tahu bahwa kita gak baik... and feel bad about it (spt yg aku rasa for the last 3 years) but the evil thoughts stay and won't go away..... what to do about it? kesadaran bahwa aku jahat itu sebenernya menggerogoti pikiranku....
salah satu buku yg aku baca menyarankan agar kita bisa menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri.. tapi.... ga mudah lah ya.... - mana ya yg lebih mudah, menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri atau orang lain? -
menerima diri sendiri
maksudnya, kita mengakui bahwa kita adalah manusia dan bisa punya pikiran jahat itu, kita menerima pikiran jahat itu sebagai bagian dari diri kita, sama spt tangan kita atau kuping kita...
memaafkan diri sendiri
kalo Tuhan sendiri mau dan sudah memaafkan kita, maka kita harus bisa memaafkan diri sendiri...
Teori!
aduh teori sih gampang... mungkin kalo pikiran buruk itu sudah tidak ada dalam diri kita... bisa kali ya kita menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri... tapi kalo perbuatan / pikiran yg jahat itu tidak bisa kita hentikan (terus menerus kita pikirkan/ lakukan), gimana dong?
-tenang, ini bukan pikiran mau mencekik orang spt contoh di atas kok, hehehehe-
Psst, tapi parah mana ya? dari pengamatanku, ada lho orang yg justru ga pernah sadar kalo perbuatannya jelek / jahat... dia berpikir dia itu paling benar sedangkan orang lain semua salah dan jahat.... hmmm... yah manusia... kalo semua manusia sama, ga seru kali ya *duh cliche banget :D*
Dr. Jekyll dan Mr. Hyde
Di cerita ini Mr. Hyde nya lebih kecil (badannya) dan lebih muda dari Dr. Jekyll karena si Dr. Jekyll itu orang baik sehingga sisi jahatnya itu cuma sedikit (jarang muncul). Kebanyakan orang kaya nya juga gitu ya?
Window.... (lupa deh namanya window apaan :P, sorry terpaksa dikasih --- otherwise berantakan tabel nya)
------aku tidak tahu------!---- aku tidak tahu
3-- orang lain tahu------- !---- orang lain tidak tahu---- 4
_______________________________________
------aku tahu------------ !----- aku tahu
1---- orang lain tahu----- !---orang lain tidak tahu------ 2
Tiap dari kita punya sisi ini... ada sifat2 yg orang lain bisa lihat jelas pada diri kita (window 1) dan kita sadar bahwa kita punya sifat itu (window 1), sedang kalo window 4 itu hanya Tuhan yg tahu....
Aku sering merasa aku ini jahat... tapi ini kayanya masuk window 2 hehehe karena I have evil thoughts .... only thoughts... so kebanyakan only I know.... tapi ada juga yg efeknya bisa dirasakan orang2 tertentu....
I feel so bad about those thoughts... but I cannot help it....
Kenapa jahat
kenapa sih aku (atau manusia pada umumnya) merasa jahat? menurut aku, itu karena
kita udah tahu apa yg baik dan benar... (kalo mau diskusi ttg baik dan benar, please follow the link ke blog nya Bapak Enda ini)
tetapi
kita tidak bisa memenuhi apa yg baik dan benar menurut kita atau memikirkan atau melakukan sesuatu yg kita tahu tidak termasuk kategori baik dan benar... misalnya nih....
aku tahu teman yg baik itu akan melakukan A, B, C, D ... IS, IT, IU, IV (emangnya MSExcel? hehehe).... nah pada saat dimana aku dituntut melakukan A tapi aku tidak melakukan, aku akan merasa aku bukan teman yg baik.... ekstreme nya aku akan merasa aku ini teman yg jahat.... atau misalnya aku melakukan ZZ dimana itu tidak bisa dimasukkan dalam kategori perilaku teman yg baik.....
atau misalnya aku lagi sebel ama satu teman trus aku berpikir 'duuuh nyebelin banget sih dia, pengen aku cekik aja nih orang' *waaakss, jahat sekali ya, hehehe*
Menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri
kalo kita udah tahu bahwa kita gak baik... and feel bad about it (spt yg aku rasa for the last 3 years) but the evil thoughts stay and won't go away..... what to do about it? kesadaran bahwa aku jahat itu sebenernya menggerogoti pikiranku....
salah satu buku yg aku baca menyarankan agar kita bisa menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri.. tapi.... ga mudah lah ya.... - mana ya yg lebih mudah, menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri atau orang lain? -
menerima diri sendiri
maksudnya, kita mengakui bahwa kita adalah manusia dan bisa punya pikiran jahat itu, kita menerima pikiran jahat itu sebagai bagian dari diri kita, sama spt tangan kita atau kuping kita...
memaafkan diri sendiri
kalo Tuhan sendiri mau dan sudah memaafkan kita, maka kita harus bisa memaafkan diri sendiri...
Teori!
aduh teori sih gampang... mungkin kalo pikiran buruk itu sudah tidak ada dalam diri kita... bisa kali ya kita menerima dan memaafkan diri sendiri... tapi kalo perbuatan / pikiran yg jahat itu tidak bisa kita hentikan (terus menerus kita pikirkan/ lakukan), gimana dong?
-tenang, ini bukan pikiran mau mencekik orang spt contoh di atas kok, hehehehe-
Psst, tapi parah mana ya? dari pengamatanku, ada lho orang yg justru ga pernah sadar kalo perbuatannya jelek / jahat... dia berpikir dia itu paling benar sedangkan orang lain semua salah dan jahat.... hmmm... yah manusia... kalo semua manusia sama, ga seru kali ya *duh cliche banget :D*
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Just tell me you love me
just tell me you love me
whisper words i so long to hear
let this time not be borrowed
let it be ours to share
if you tell me you love me
it will lead the way to your heart
through the mereness of silence
you love me
- England Dan & John Ford Coley - Just Tell Me You Love Me -
Just tell me you love me.... Can the word 'just' really be justified to be there in the line?
First of all... for some people saying "I love you" is not that easy. For some it is like pulling a tooth... yet for others, it maybe like pulling five teeth hehehe....
Second of all.... saying"I love you" creates expectation.... "If you really love me, then you will do this this and this" or "If you really love me, then you will never do that that and that" But anyway when we are in love, then we will do anything we can for the other person happily...
See.. saying "I love you" is not only a 'just'... but I'll keep on saying it :wink:
whisper words i so long to hear
let this time not be borrowed
let it be ours to share
if you tell me you love me
it will lead the way to your heart
through the mereness of silence
you love me
- England Dan & John Ford Coley - Just Tell Me You Love Me -
Just tell me you love me.... Can the word 'just' really be justified to be there in the line?
First of all... for some people saying "I love you" is not that easy. For some it is like pulling a tooth... yet for others, it maybe like pulling five teeth hehehe....
Second of all.... saying"I love you" creates expectation.... "If you really love me, then you will do this this and this" or "If you really love me, then you will never do that that and that" But anyway when we are in love, then we will do anything we can for the other person happily...
See.. saying "I love you" is not only a 'just'... but I'll keep on saying it :wink:
Monday, August 09, 2004
Insecurities
The most cruel thing that you can do to the people who love you is to make them feel insecure, i.e.: that you can and you are willing to leave them at any time at all, e.g.:
* threatening them that you are thinking of committing suicide
* telling your children that you are thinking of leaving and abandoning your family because you cannot stand their father anymore
* threatening your spouse that you are thinking of breaking up or getting a divorce everytime when there is a conflict between you
* continuously telling your loved ones that you think you are dying when actually you are not (similar to it is to continuously manage to get yourself hurt/ to get yourself an accident when you can actually avoid it)
I think... if I really love someone... I will try to make them feel secure... that I will always be there for them (at least as long as I'm alive and I won't do anything to end it on purpose)....
If you feel that they don't love you anymore, it's not a correct way to make win their heart back... At least it won't work for me... when I feel insecure about someone.... I won't be able to love him/ her at all.... because of the risk of losing him/ her... When you love something so much and you lose it, you'll be breaking to pieces.....
So... I hope I will never do this to my loved ones...... I hope you won't either....
* threatening them that you are thinking of committing suicide
* telling your children that you are thinking of leaving and abandoning your family because you cannot stand their father anymore
* threatening your spouse that you are thinking of breaking up or getting a divorce everytime when there is a conflict between you
* continuously telling your loved ones that you think you are dying when actually you are not (similar to it is to continuously manage to get yourself hurt/ to get yourself an accident when you can actually avoid it)
I think... if I really love someone... I will try to make them feel secure... that I will always be there for them (at least as long as I'm alive and I won't do anything to end it on purpose)....
If you feel that they don't love you anymore, it's not a correct way to make win their heart back... At least it won't work for me... when I feel insecure about someone.... I won't be able to love him/ her at all.... because of the risk of losing him/ her... When you love something so much and you lose it, you'll be breaking to pieces.....
So... I hope I will never do this to my loved ones...... I hope you won't either....
I know what's best for you
Does it sound familiar? someone told you his/ her situation and then you told him/ her what to do. And (s)he just ignore your advice and just continue doing whatever they were doing. And you feel like screaming "hey, don't you know that it's not good for you? you are completely wrong, I know what's best for you"
-sigh-..... but I think that's what happen often times. Even when you are giving solicited advice, people often just continue doing what they think to be right. Only when you are thought to be really credible, or when you have power over the person you give your advice to (parents-children, boss-staff, doctor-patient, etc.) then you can force them to accept your opinion/ your way.
-sigh-.... of course YOU think that YOUR opinion/ solution is the best, because it is resulted from your way of thinking and your experiences throughout your life... but that goes for the other person too....
-sigh-.... at times like that I just gave up.... and let them have their own way... and just try to forget.... It's difficult to do that when I see that they are really heading to the wrong direction or that they endanger their own life.... but what else can I do?
-sigh-..... but I think that's what happen often times. Even when you are giving solicited advice, people often just continue doing what they think to be right. Only when you are thought to be really credible, or when you have power over the person you give your advice to (parents-children, boss-staff, doctor-patient, etc.) then you can force them to accept your opinion/ your way.
-sigh-.... of course YOU think that YOUR opinion/ solution is the best, because it is resulted from your way of thinking and your experiences throughout your life... but that goes for the other person too....
-sigh-.... at times like that I just gave up.... and let them have their own way... and just try to forget.... It's difficult to do that when I see that they are really heading to the wrong direction or that they endanger their own life.... but what else can I do?
Sunday, August 08, 2004
Sex and the City
Watching the season 4 episodes of the HBO original series Sex and the City has got me thinking....
Episode 60 "Just Say Yes"
At first, I couldn't understand why Carrie had to make such a big fuss about living together with her boyfriend, Aidan. After all, they have done all there is to be done. But then in the later episode, I got it. It's about the loss of privacy
* cannot do things you used to do when you live alone - things that others might think to be weird if they see you doing it, ummm now I'm trying to make my list :P -,
* having to consider the other person's preferences on how you manage the house
* having to tolerate the other person's bad habit -for my husband to be it will certainly be my untidiness, among others :P -
* having to share space, accepting the other person's pet or plant, or his/her treasures that you might feel like throwing away when (s)he is not looking :D
They made the fight for space n privacy here looked pretty scary, but I guess it does not have to be that way... well my married friends, wanna say a word about this? ;P
Episode 63 "Change of a Dress"
Whenever I saw my aunt Bettie in a wedding, she would always ask me "When will you have yours?". God, it was so annoying because I didn't have anyone to get married with. So once when I met her in a funeral, I asked her back "When will you have yours?".
- a joke, not my own story, mind you :D-
In the earlier episodes, Miranda talked about the pressure she experienced from her family about her having no boyfriend and Carrie was afraid of being a 35 and had no special man in her life (episode 49"The Agony and the 'Ex'-tasy"). And they despised being in the married people's world and being told "don't worry, you will find the right one for you"
-tell me about it :P-
The first time I had a boyfriend was after I finished my bachelor study, before that I had always been questioned by my relatives when I would get one. I was a shy girl and not really a drop-dead-gorgeus type and lacked of self confidence as I wrote before, I thought I would never have one. The relationship only lasted for 3 months, it was not a serious one.
Then only after a vacuum of 3 years did I find the man I love... it's been almost 2 years now... The 3 years vacuum was also filled with the tormenting question :D Everytime people -especially my mom- asked me I felt so annoyed and irritated.
When my mom told me to find myself a boyfriend at my Master's degree graduation, my reaction was 'Hey, I've accomplished this much, but still it seemed not good enough if I don't have any boyfriend." Do u think I was overreacting? Maybe it was also because of my fear of never finding any.
And now that I have my kangmas, the tormenting question have changed "When will you guys get married?". I guess after I get married, people will ask "When will you have a baby?". Hehehe, but come to think of it, I myself cannot help asking the same questions to my friends, just an act of courtesy or because I'm really excited to see them getting married or having a baby ... I hope you won't feel offended if ever I ask you such question :P so I should have known that people didn't mean to prey when they asked me those questions, but still I feel uneasy about it. Another similar case is when you don't have jobs -maybe you're just graduated from your study- and people ask you "have you got a job?".
Though I found it a bit strange for such successful and independent ladies in such country as the USA, to feel the same pressure as what I experienced. I thought it was only in Asian countries that girls are expected to be married as soon as possible :P If you are living in Europe or America, would you mind giving your comment?
Starting from the episode 60 Carrie talked about her being freaked out with the idea of getting married (and the finale is in episode 63, I don't wanna be a killjoy, so I won't talk about this). I still can't understand about this. What's the big deal for her, afterall she and her boyfriend have lived together and it's seems so easy to just get a divorce there if things don't go well. Anyone can enlighten me on this?
Could it be the same question as Ria discussed? -> is (s)he the "right" one? Could it be the fear of separation in case things really don't go well? Could it be the fear that after getting married, their love will cease to be like in many other marriages?
Hmm... that's all I can think of now.... gotta go now... wanna see the rest of the episodes... Ciao! :D
Episode 60 "Just Say Yes"
At first, I couldn't understand why Carrie had to make such a big fuss about living together with her boyfriend, Aidan. After all, they have done all there is to be done. But then in the later episode, I got it. It's about the loss of privacy
* cannot do things you used to do when you live alone - things that others might think to be weird if they see you doing it, ummm now I'm trying to make my list :P -,
* having to consider the other person's preferences on how you manage the house
* having to tolerate the other person's bad habit -for my husband to be it will certainly be my untidiness, among others :P -
* having to share space, accepting the other person's pet or plant, or his/her treasures that you might feel like throwing away when (s)he is not looking :D
They made the fight for space n privacy here looked pretty scary, but I guess it does not have to be that way... well my married friends, wanna say a word about this? ;P
Episode 63 "Change of a Dress"
Whenever I saw my aunt Bettie in a wedding, she would always ask me "When will you have yours?". God, it was so annoying because I didn't have anyone to get married with. So once when I met her in a funeral, I asked her back "When will you have yours?".
- a joke, not my own story, mind you :D-
In the earlier episodes, Miranda talked about the pressure she experienced from her family about her having no boyfriend and Carrie was afraid of being a 35 and had no special man in her life (episode 49"The Agony and the 'Ex'-tasy"). And they despised being in the married people's world and being told "don't worry, you will find the right one for you"
-tell me about it :P-
The first time I had a boyfriend was after I finished my bachelor study, before that I had always been questioned by my relatives when I would get one. I was a shy girl and not really a drop-dead-gorgeus type and lacked of self confidence as I wrote before, I thought I would never have one. The relationship only lasted for 3 months, it was not a serious one.
Then only after a vacuum of 3 years did I find the man I love... it's been almost 2 years now... The 3 years vacuum was also filled with the tormenting question :D Everytime people -especially my mom- asked me I felt so annoyed and irritated.
When my mom told me to find myself a boyfriend at my Master's degree graduation, my reaction was 'Hey, I've accomplished this much, but still it seemed not good enough if I don't have any boyfriend." Do u think I was overreacting? Maybe it was also because of my fear of never finding any.
And now that I have my kangmas, the tormenting question have changed "When will you guys get married?". I guess after I get married, people will ask "When will you have a baby?". Hehehe, but come to think of it, I myself cannot help asking the same questions to my friends, just an act of courtesy or because I'm really excited to see them getting married or having a baby ... I hope you won't feel offended if ever I ask you such question :P so I should have known that people didn't mean to prey when they asked me those questions, but still I feel uneasy about it. Another similar case is when you don't have jobs -maybe you're just graduated from your study- and people ask you "have you got a job?".
Though I found it a bit strange for such successful and independent ladies in such country as the USA, to feel the same pressure as what I experienced. I thought it was only in Asian countries that girls are expected to be married as soon as possible :P If you are living in Europe or America, would you mind giving your comment?
Starting from the episode 60 Carrie talked about her being freaked out with the idea of getting married (and the finale is in episode 63, I don't wanna be a killjoy, so I won't talk about this). I still can't understand about this. What's the big deal for her, afterall she and her boyfriend have lived together and it's seems so easy to just get a divorce there if things don't go well. Anyone can enlighten me on this?
Could it be the same question as Ria discussed? -> is (s)he the "right" one? Could it be the fear of separation in case things really don't go well? Could it be the fear that after getting married, their love will cease to be like in many other marriages?
Hmm... that's all I can think of now.... gotta go now... wanna see the rest of the episodes... Ciao! :D
Friday, August 06, 2004
I know Who holds tomorrow
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
and I know Who holds my hand.
- I know Who holds tomorrow - gospel - LeAnn Rimes -
This morning the Graduation Ceremony was held. I went there to meet the happy graduants with their loved ones who have travelled a long way to share the happiness. Then at midday, the Indonesian community has a celebration lunch together with our Education Attache. The food was great, the ladies in our community are all great cooks -except me hehehe-. Then I went to see the OTOP (One Tamboon One Product) exhibition. I went alone coz my kangmas was having a seminar. He's so busy these last 2 weeks and also next week, but it's OK, we still have our good times together. Ouch I ended up buying so many food stuffs (as always hehehe):
1. honey -ok, it's healthy n we don't have to finish it soon-,
2. miang kham -a unique Thai delicacy: wild tea or betel leaves served with tidbits of dried shrimp, tiny pieces of chilli, ginger and garlic, toasted shredded coconut, slices of unpeeled lemon, and topped with sweet and savory sauce
3. steamed sweet made of young coconut meat, coconut milk and rice fluor
4. fried pork on sugar cane
5. corn milk
6. sala pao / bak pao
I was thinking of what these graduants with happy faces will do next.... some already got jobs, others are still trying to find one.
Yeah... this graduation ceremony reminds me of my own, which was held on Aug 17, 2001. Gosh it was 3 years ago. I was happy cos I got the award (which I have not expected, it's a long story) and I was selected to go to Europe for a three-months training programme. I was excited coz it was the first time I went to Europe. I did not really think of finding a job before the graduation because of this. And I was so busy before the graduation. Coz I had to make up for my lateness in doing research and I finished all the correction only on the day before the graduation. It was so hectic, coz I had to prepare for the Europe trip too: visa, insurance, warm clothes (the place was very near to the arctic line, me! the heat-loving me! the strange thing is after that trip I got cold so easily. Psst, kangmas, that's why I need warmth all the time hehehe ;P). OK, enough wandering off my points.
Then I applied for jobs during my stay in Europe, thinking that my chance to get a job there is bigger if I apply from a Europe country. But I found out that it is not that easy. Paper business was slowing down due to the new mills built up in Asia, lower production cost with similar or better quality. Unemployment is high too in Europe. So... no interview calls were received. But when I got back to my campus for a short while to attend the wedding party of a friend (who later became my work-mate, it was a pleasant surprise!) I got information on one available position, which is my current job. I love this job... though sometimes it's quite tough and stressful, I have to travel a lot and long working hours.
Now... now... in December my contract will end, and my kangmas' before that. So we are now hunting for new jobs.... Oh... I hate times like this. Uncertainties are everywhere... but what can we do? Everybody has moments like this in their life.....
Yeah.... as long as we have faith... that He has a beautiful plan for us.... then we'll be strong....
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,
and I know Who holds my hand.
- I know Who holds tomorrow - gospel - LeAnn Rimes -
This morning the Graduation Ceremony was held. I went there to meet the happy graduants with their loved ones who have travelled a long way to share the happiness. Then at midday, the Indonesian community has a celebration lunch together with our Education Attache. The food was great, the ladies in our community are all great cooks -except me hehehe-. Then I went to see the OTOP (One Tamboon One Product) exhibition. I went alone coz my kangmas was having a seminar. He's so busy these last 2 weeks and also next week, but it's OK, we still have our good times together. Ouch I ended up buying so many food stuffs (as always hehehe):
1. honey -ok, it's healthy n we don't have to finish it soon-,
2. miang kham -a unique Thai delicacy: wild tea or betel leaves served with tidbits of dried shrimp, tiny pieces of chilli, ginger and garlic, toasted shredded coconut, slices of unpeeled lemon, and topped with sweet and savory sauce
3. steamed sweet made of young coconut meat, coconut milk and rice fluor
4. fried pork on sugar cane
5. corn milk
6. sala pao / bak pao
I was thinking of what these graduants with happy faces will do next.... some already got jobs, others are still trying to find one.
Yeah... this graduation ceremony reminds me of my own, which was held on Aug 17, 2001. Gosh it was 3 years ago. I was happy cos I got the award (which I have not expected, it's a long story) and I was selected to go to Europe for a three-months training programme. I was excited coz it was the first time I went to Europe. I did not really think of finding a job before the graduation because of this. And I was so busy before the graduation. Coz I had to make up for my lateness in doing research and I finished all the correction only on the day before the graduation. It was so hectic, coz I had to prepare for the Europe trip too: visa, insurance, warm clothes (the place was very near to the arctic line, me! the heat-loving me! the strange thing is after that trip I got cold so easily. Psst, kangmas, that's why I need warmth all the time hehehe ;P). OK, enough wandering off my points.
Then I applied for jobs during my stay in Europe, thinking that my chance to get a job there is bigger if I apply from a Europe country. But I found out that it is not that easy. Paper business was slowing down due to the new mills built up in Asia, lower production cost with similar or better quality. Unemployment is high too in Europe. So... no interview calls were received. But when I got back to my campus for a short while to attend the wedding party of a friend (who later became my work-mate, it was a pleasant surprise!) I got information on one available position, which is my current job. I love this job... though sometimes it's quite tough and stressful, I have to travel a lot and long working hours.
Now... now... in December my contract will end, and my kangmas' before that. So we are now hunting for new jobs.... Oh... I hate times like this. Uncertainties are everywhere... but what can we do? Everybody has moments like this in their life.....
Yeah.... as long as we have faith... that He has a beautiful plan for us.... then we'll be strong....
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Bola untuk anak
Dari Suara Merdeka
Inikah nasib? Terlahir sebagai menantu bukan pilihan. Tapi aku dan Kania harus tetap menikah. Itu sebabnya kami ada di Kantor Catatan Sipil. Wali kami pun wali hakim. Dalam tiga puluh menit, prosesi pernikahan kami selesai. Tanpa sungkem dan tabur melati atau hidangan istimewa dan salam sejahtera dari kerabat. Tapi aku masih sangat bersyukur karena Lukman dan Naila mau hadir menjadi saksi. Umurku sudah menginjak seperempat abad dan Kania di bawahku. Cita-cita kami sederhana, ingin hidup bahagia. Itu 25 tahun yang lalu.
22 tahun yang lalu,
Pekerjaanku tidak begitu elite, tapi cukup untuk biaya makan keluargaku. Ya, keluargaku. Karena sekarang aku sudah punya momongan. Seorang putri, kunamai ia Kamila. Aku berharap ia bisa menjadi perempuan sempurna, maksudku kaya akan budi baik hingga dia tampak sempurna. Kulitnya masih merah, mungkin karena ia baru berumur seminggu. Sayang, dia tak dijenguk kakek-neneknya dan aku merasa prihatin. Aku harus bisa terima nasib kembali, orangtuaku dan orangtua Kania tak mau menerima kami. Ya sudahlah. Aku tak berhak untuk memaksa dan aku tidak membenci mereka. Aku hanya yakin, suatu saat nanti, mereka pasti akan berubah.
19 tahun yang lalu,
Kamilaku gesit dan lincah. Dia sekarang sedang senang berlari-lari, melompat-lompat atau meloncat dari meja ke kursi lalu dari kursi ke lantai kemudian berteriak "Horeee, Iya bisa terbang". Begitulah dia memanggil namanya sendiri, Iya. Kembang senyumnya selalu merekah seperti mawar di pot halaman rumah. Dan Kania tak jarang berteriak, "Iya sayaaang," jika sudah terdengar suara "Prang". Itu artinya, ada yang pecah, bisa vas bunga, gelas, piring, atau meja kaca. Terakhir cermin rias ibunya yang pecah. Waktu dia melompat dari tempat tidur ke lantai, boneka kayu yang dipegangnya terpental. Dan dia cuma bilang "Kenapa semua kaca di rumah ini selalu pecah, Ma?"
18 tahun yang lalu,
Hari ini Kamila ulang tahun. Aku sengaja pulang lebih awal dari pekerjaanku agar bisa membeli hadiah dulu. Kemarin lalu dia merengek minta dibelikan bola. Kania tak membelikannya karena tak mau anaknya jadi tomboy apalagi jadi pemain bola seperti yang sering diucapkannya.
"Nanti kalau sudah besar, Iya mau jadi pemain bola!" tapi aku tidak suka dia menangis terus minta bola, makanya kubelikan ia sebuah bola. Paling tidak aku bisa punya lawan main setiap sabtu sore. Dan seperti yang sudah kuduga, dia bersorak kegirangan waktu kutunjukkan bola itu. "Horee, Iya jadi pemain bola."
17 Tahun yang lalu
Iya, Iya. Bapak kan sudah bilang jangan main bola di jalan. Mainnya di rumah aja. Coba kalau ia nurut, Bapak kan tidak akan seperti ini. Aku tidak tahu bagaimana Kania bisa tidak tahu Iya menyembunyikan bola di tas sekolahnya. Yang aku tahu, hari itu hari Sabtu dan aku akan menjemputnyanya dari sekolah. Kulihat anakku sedang asyik menendang bola sepanjang jalan pulang dari sekolah dan ia semakin ketengah jalan. Aku berlari menghampirinya, rasa khawatirku mengalahkan kehati-hatianku dan "Iyaaaa..." Sebuah truk pasir telak menghantam tubuhku, lindasan ban besarnya berhenti di atas dua kakiku. Waktu aku sadar, dua kakiku sudah diamputasi. Ya Tuhan, bagaimana ini. Bayang-bayang kelam menyelimuti pikiranku, tanpa kaki, bagaimana aku bekerja sementara pekerjaanku mengantar barang dari perusahaan ke rumah konsumen. Kulihat Kania menangis sedih, bibir cuma berkata "Coba kalau kamu tak belikan ia bola!"
15 tahun yang lalu,
Perekonomianku morat marit setelah kecelakaan. Uang pesangon habis untuk ke rumah sakit dan uang tabungan menguap jadi asap dapur. Kania mulai banyak mengeluh dan Iya mulai banyak dibentak. Aku hanya bisa membelainya. Dan bilang kalau Mamanya sedang sakit kepala makanya cepat marah. Perabotan rumah yang bisa dijual sudah habis. Dan aku tak bisa berkata apa-apa waktu Kania hendak mencari ke luar negeri. Dia ingin penghasilan yang lebih besar untuk mencukupi kebutuhan Kamila. Diizinkan atau tidak diizinkan dia akan tetap pergi. Begitu katanya. Dan akhirnya dia memang pergi ke Malaysia.
13 tahun yang lalu,
Setahun sejak kepergian Kania, keuangan rumahku sedikit membaik tapi itu hanya setahun. Setelah itu tak terdengar kabar lagi. Aku harus mempersiapkan uang untuk Kamila masuk SMP. Anakku memang pintar dia loncat satu tahun di SD-nya. Dengan segala keprihatinan kupaksakan agar Kamila bisa melanjutkan sekolah. Aku bekerja serabutan, mengerjakan pekerjaan yang bisa kukerjakan dengan dua tanganku. Aku miris, menghadapi kenyataan. Menyaksikan anakku yang tumbuh remaja dan aku tahu dia ingin menikmati dunianya. Tapi keadaanku mengurungnya dalam segala kekurangan. Tapi aku harus kuat. Aku harus tabah untuk mengajari Kamila hidup tegar.
10 tahun yang lalu,
Aku sedih, semua tetangga sering mengejek kecacatanku. Dan Kamila hanya sanggup berlari ke dalam rumah lalu sembunyi di dalam kamar. Dia sering jadi bulan-bulanan hinaan teman sebayanya. Anakku cantik, seperti ibunya. "Biar cantik kalo kere ya ke laut aje." Mungkin itu kata-kata yang sering kudengar. Tapi anakku memang sabar dia tidak marah walau tak urung menangis juga.
"Sabar ya, Nak!" hiburku.
"Pak, Iya pake jilbab aja ya, biar tidak diganggu!" pintanya padaku. Dan aku menangis. Anakku maafkan bapakmu, hanya itu suara yang sanggup kupendam dalam hatiku. Sejak hari itu, anakku tak pernah lepas dari kerudungnya. Dan aku bahagia. Anakku, ternyata kamu sudah semakin dewasa. Dia selalu tersenyum padaku. Dia tidak pernah menunjukkan kekecewaannya padaku karena sekolahnya hanya terlambat di bangku SMP.
7 tahun yang lalu,
Aku merenung seharian. Ingatanku tentang Kania, istriku, kembali menemui pikiranku. Sudah bertahun-tahun tak kudengar kabarnya. Aku tak mungkin bohong pada diriku sendiri, jika aku masih menyimpan rindu untuknya. Dan itu pula yang membuat aku takut. Semalam Kamila bilang dia ingin menjadi TKI ke Malaysia. Sulit baginya mencari pekerjaan di sini yang cuma lulusan SMP. Haruskah aku melepasnya karena alasan ekonomi. Dia bilang aku sudah tua, tenagaku mulai habis dan dia ingin agar aku beristirahat. Dia berjanji akan rajin mengirimi aku uang dan menabung untuk modal. Setelah itu dia akan pulang, menemaniku kembali dan membuka usaha kecil-kecilan. Seperti waktu lalu, kali ini pun aku tak kuasa untuk menghalanginya. Aku hanya berdoa agar Kamilaku baik-baik saja.
4 tahun lalu,
Kamila tak pernah telat mengirimi aku uang. Hampir tiga tahun dia di sana. Dia bekerja sebagai seorang pelayan di rumah seorang nyonya. Tapi Kamila tidak suka dengan laki-laki yang disebutnya datuk. Matanya tak pernah siratkan sinar baik. Dia juga dikenal suka perempuan. Dan nyonya itu adalah istri mudanya yang keempat. Dia bilang dia sudah ingin pulang. Karena akhir-akhir ini dia sering diganggu.
Lebaran tahun ini dia akan berhenti bekerja. Itu yang kubaca dari suratnya. Aku senang mengetahui itu dan selalu menunggu hingga masa itu tiba. Kamila bilang, aku jangan pernah lupa salat dan kalau kondisiku sedang baik usahakan untuk salat tahajjud. Tak perlu memaksakan untuk puasa sunnah yang pasti setiap bulan Ramadhan aku harus berusaha sebisa mungkin untuk kuat hingga beduk manghrib berbunyi. Kini anakku lebih pandai menasihati daripada aku. Dan aku bangga.
3 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu,
Inikah badai? Aku mendapat surat dari kepolisian pemerintahan Malaysia, kabarnya anakku ditahan. Dan dia diancam hukuman mati, karena dia terbukti membunuh suami majikannya. Sesak dadaku mendapat kabar ini. Aku menangis, aku tak percaya. Kamilaku yang lemah lembut tak mungkin membunuh. Lagipula kenapa dia harus membunuh. Aku meminta bantuan hukum dari Indonesia untuk menyelamatkan anakku dari maut. Hampir setahun aku gelisah menunggu kasus anakku selesai. Tenaga tuaku terkuras dan airmataku habis. Aku hanya bisa memohon agar anakku tidak dihukum mati andai dia memang bersalah.
2 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu,
Akhirnya putusan itu jatuh juga, anakku terbukti bersalah. Dan dia harus menjalani hukuman gantung sebagai balasannya. Aku tidak bisa apa-apa selain menangis sejadinya. Andai aku tak izinkan dia pergi apakah nasibnya tak akan seburuk ini? Andai aku tak belikan ia bola apakah keadaanku pasti lebih baik? Aku kini benar-benar sendiri. Wahai Allah kuatkan aku.
Atas permintaan anakku aku dijemput terbang ke Malaysia. Anakku ingin aku ada di sisinya di saat terakhirnya. Lihatlah, dia kurus sekali. Dua matanya sembab dan bengkak. Ingin rasanya aku berlari tapi apa daya kakiku tak ada. Aku masuk ke dalam ruangan pertemuan itu, dia berhambur ke arahku, memelukku erat, seakan tak ingin melepaskan aku.
"Bapak, Iya Takut!" aku memeluknya lebih erat lagi. Andai bisa ditukar, aku ingin menggantikannya.
"Kenapa, Ya, kenapa kamu membunuhnya sayang?"
"Lelaki tua itu ingin Iya tidur dengannya, Pak. Iya tidak mau. Iya dipukulnya. Iya takut, Iya dorong dan dia jatuh dari jendela kamar. Dan dia mati. Iya tidak salah kan, Pak!"
Aku perih mendengar itu. Aku iba dengan nasib anakku. Masa mudanya hilang begitu saja. Tapi aku bisa apa, istri keempat lelaki tua itu menuntut agar anakku dihukum mati. Dia kaya dan lelaki itu juga orang terhormat. Aku sudah berusaha untuk memohon keringanan bagi anakku, tapi menemuiku pun ia tidak mau. Sia-sia aku tinggal di Malaysia selama enam bulan untuk memohon hukuman pada wanita itu.
2 tahun yang lalu,
Hari ini, anakku akan dihukum gantung. Dan wanita itu akan hadir melihatnya. Aku mendengar dari petugas jika dia sudah datang dan ada di belakangku. Tapi aku tak ingin melihatnya. Aku melihat isyarat tangan dari hakim di sana. Petugas itu membuka papan yang diinjak anakku. Dan 'blass" Kamilaku kini tergantung. Aku tak bisa lagi menangis. Setelah yakin sudah mati, jenazah anakku diturunkan mereka, aku mendengar langkah kaki menuju jenazah anakku. Dia menyibak kain penutupnya dan tersenyum sinis. Aku mendongakkan kepalaku, dan dengan mataku yang samar oleh air mata aku melihat garis wajah yang kukenal.
"Kania?"
"Mas Har, kau . !"
"Kau ... kau bunuh anakmu sendiri, Kania!"
"Iya? Dia..dia . Iya?" serunya getir menunjuk jenazah anakku.
"Ya, dia Iya kita. Iya yang ingin jadi pemain bola jika sudah besar."
"Tidak ... tidaaak ... " Kania berlari ke arah jenazah anakku. Diguncang tubuh kaku itu sambil menjerit histeris. Seorang petugas menghampiri Kania dan memberikan secarik kertas yang tergenggam di tangannya waktu dia diturunkan dari tiang gantungan. Bunyinya "Terima kasih Mama." Aku baru sadar, kalau dari dulu Kamila sudah tahu wanita itu ibunya.
Setahun lalu,
Sejak saat itu istriku gila. Tapi apakah dia masih istriku. Yang aku tahu, aku belum pernah menceraikannya. Terakhir kudengar kabarnya dia mati bunuh diri. Dia ingin dikuburkan di samping kuburan anakku, Kamila. Kata pembantu yang mengantarkan jenazahnya padaku, dia sering berteriak, "Iya sayaaang, apalagi yang pecah, Nak." Kamu tahu Kania, kali ini yang pecah adalah hatiku. Mungkin orang tua kita memang benar, tak seharusnya kita menikah. Agar tak ada kesengsaraan untuk Kamila anak kita. Benarkah begitu Iya sayang?
(true story/CN02)
Inikah nasib? Terlahir sebagai menantu bukan pilihan. Tapi aku dan Kania harus tetap menikah. Itu sebabnya kami ada di Kantor Catatan Sipil. Wali kami pun wali hakim. Dalam tiga puluh menit, prosesi pernikahan kami selesai. Tanpa sungkem dan tabur melati atau hidangan istimewa dan salam sejahtera dari kerabat. Tapi aku masih sangat bersyukur karena Lukman dan Naila mau hadir menjadi saksi. Umurku sudah menginjak seperempat abad dan Kania di bawahku. Cita-cita kami sederhana, ingin hidup bahagia. Itu 25 tahun yang lalu.
22 tahun yang lalu,
Pekerjaanku tidak begitu elite, tapi cukup untuk biaya makan keluargaku. Ya, keluargaku. Karena sekarang aku sudah punya momongan. Seorang putri, kunamai ia Kamila. Aku berharap ia bisa menjadi perempuan sempurna, maksudku kaya akan budi baik hingga dia tampak sempurna. Kulitnya masih merah, mungkin karena ia baru berumur seminggu. Sayang, dia tak dijenguk kakek-neneknya dan aku merasa prihatin. Aku harus bisa terima nasib kembali, orangtuaku dan orangtua Kania tak mau menerima kami. Ya sudahlah. Aku tak berhak untuk memaksa dan aku tidak membenci mereka. Aku hanya yakin, suatu saat nanti, mereka pasti akan berubah.
19 tahun yang lalu,
Kamilaku gesit dan lincah. Dia sekarang sedang senang berlari-lari, melompat-lompat atau meloncat dari meja ke kursi lalu dari kursi ke lantai kemudian berteriak "Horeee, Iya bisa terbang". Begitulah dia memanggil namanya sendiri, Iya. Kembang senyumnya selalu merekah seperti mawar di pot halaman rumah. Dan Kania tak jarang berteriak, "Iya sayaaang," jika sudah terdengar suara "Prang". Itu artinya, ada yang pecah, bisa vas bunga, gelas, piring, atau meja kaca. Terakhir cermin rias ibunya yang pecah. Waktu dia melompat dari tempat tidur ke lantai, boneka kayu yang dipegangnya terpental. Dan dia cuma bilang "Kenapa semua kaca di rumah ini selalu pecah, Ma?"
18 tahun yang lalu,
Hari ini Kamila ulang tahun. Aku sengaja pulang lebih awal dari pekerjaanku agar bisa membeli hadiah dulu. Kemarin lalu dia merengek minta dibelikan bola. Kania tak membelikannya karena tak mau anaknya jadi tomboy apalagi jadi pemain bola seperti yang sering diucapkannya.
"Nanti kalau sudah besar, Iya mau jadi pemain bola!" tapi aku tidak suka dia menangis terus minta bola, makanya kubelikan ia sebuah bola. Paling tidak aku bisa punya lawan main setiap sabtu sore. Dan seperti yang sudah kuduga, dia bersorak kegirangan waktu kutunjukkan bola itu. "Horee, Iya jadi pemain bola."
17 Tahun yang lalu
Iya, Iya. Bapak kan sudah bilang jangan main bola di jalan. Mainnya di rumah aja. Coba kalau ia nurut, Bapak kan tidak akan seperti ini. Aku tidak tahu bagaimana Kania bisa tidak tahu Iya menyembunyikan bola di tas sekolahnya. Yang aku tahu, hari itu hari Sabtu dan aku akan menjemputnyanya dari sekolah. Kulihat anakku sedang asyik menendang bola sepanjang jalan pulang dari sekolah dan ia semakin ketengah jalan. Aku berlari menghampirinya, rasa khawatirku mengalahkan kehati-hatianku dan "Iyaaaa..." Sebuah truk pasir telak menghantam tubuhku, lindasan ban besarnya berhenti di atas dua kakiku. Waktu aku sadar, dua kakiku sudah diamputasi. Ya Tuhan, bagaimana ini. Bayang-bayang kelam menyelimuti pikiranku, tanpa kaki, bagaimana aku bekerja sementara pekerjaanku mengantar barang dari perusahaan ke rumah konsumen. Kulihat Kania menangis sedih, bibir cuma berkata "Coba kalau kamu tak belikan ia bola!"
15 tahun yang lalu,
Perekonomianku morat marit setelah kecelakaan. Uang pesangon habis untuk ke rumah sakit dan uang tabungan menguap jadi asap dapur. Kania mulai banyak mengeluh dan Iya mulai banyak dibentak. Aku hanya bisa membelainya. Dan bilang kalau Mamanya sedang sakit kepala makanya cepat marah. Perabotan rumah yang bisa dijual sudah habis. Dan aku tak bisa berkata apa-apa waktu Kania hendak mencari ke luar negeri. Dia ingin penghasilan yang lebih besar untuk mencukupi kebutuhan Kamila. Diizinkan atau tidak diizinkan dia akan tetap pergi. Begitu katanya. Dan akhirnya dia memang pergi ke Malaysia.
13 tahun yang lalu,
Setahun sejak kepergian Kania, keuangan rumahku sedikit membaik tapi itu hanya setahun. Setelah itu tak terdengar kabar lagi. Aku harus mempersiapkan uang untuk Kamila masuk SMP. Anakku memang pintar dia loncat satu tahun di SD-nya. Dengan segala keprihatinan kupaksakan agar Kamila bisa melanjutkan sekolah. Aku bekerja serabutan, mengerjakan pekerjaan yang bisa kukerjakan dengan dua tanganku. Aku miris, menghadapi kenyataan. Menyaksikan anakku yang tumbuh remaja dan aku tahu dia ingin menikmati dunianya. Tapi keadaanku mengurungnya dalam segala kekurangan. Tapi aku harus kuat. Aku harus tabah untuk mengajari Kamila hidup tegar.
10 tahun yang lalu,
Aku sedih, semua tetangga sering mengejek kecacatanku. Dan Kamila hanya sanggup berlari ke dalam rumah lalu sembunyi di dalam kamar. Dia sering jadi bulan-bulanan hinaan teman sebayanya. Anakku cantik, seperti ibunya. "Biar cantik kalo kere ya ke laut aje." Mungkin itu kata-kata yang sering kudengar. Tapi anakku memang sabar dia tidak marah walau tak urung menangis juga.
"Sabar ya, Nak!" hiburku.
"Pak, Iya pake jilbab aja ya, biar tidak diganggu!" pintanya padaku. Dan aku menangis. Anakku maafkan bapakmu, hanya itu suara yang sanggup kupendam dalam hatiku. Sejak hari itu, anakku tak pernah lepas dari kerudungnya. Dan aku bahagia. Anakku, ternyata kamu sudah semakin dewasa. Dia selalu tersenyum padaku. Dia tidak pernah menunjukkan kekecewaannya padaku karena sekolahnya hanya terlambat di bangku SMP.
7 tahun yang lalu,
Aku merenung seharian. Ingatanku tentang Kania, istriku, kembali menemui pikiranku. Sudah bertahun-tahun tak kudengar kabarnya. Aku tak mungkin bohong pada diriku sendiri, jika aku masih menyimpan rindu untuknya. Dan itu pula yang membuat aku takut. Semalam Kamila bilang dia ingin menjadi TKI ke Malaysia. Sulit baginya mencari pekerjaan di sini yang cuma lulusan SMP. Haruskah aku melepasnya karena alasan ekonomi. Dia bilang aku sudah tua, tenagaku mulai habis dan dia ingin agar aku beristirahat. Dia berjanji akan rajin mengirimi aku uang dan menabung untuk modal. Setelah itu dia akan pulang, menemaniku kembali dan membuka usaha kecil-kecilan. Seperti waktu lalu, kali ini pun aku tak kuasa untuk menghalanginya. Aku hanya berdoa agar Kamilaku baik-baik saja.
4 tahun lalu,
Kamila tak pernah telat mengirimi aku uang. Hampir tiga tahun dia di sana. Dia bekerja sebagai seorang pelayan di rumah seorang nyonya. Tapi Kamila tidak suka dengan laki-laki yang disebutnya datuk. Matanya tak pernah siratkan sinar baik. Dia juga dikenal suka perempuan. Dan nyonya itu adalah istri mudanya yang keempat. Dia bilang dia sudah ingin pulang. Karena akhir-akhir ini dia sering diganggu.
Lebaran tahun ini dia akan berhenti bekerja. Itu yang kubaca dari suratnya. Aku senang mengetahui itu dan selalu menunggu hingga masa itu tiba. Kamila bilang, aku jangan pernah lupa salat dan kalau kondisiku sedang baik usahakan untuk salat tahajjud. Tak perlu memaksakan untuk puasa sunnah yang pasti setiap bulan Ramadhan aku harus berusaha sebisa mungkin untuk kuat hingga beduk manghrib berbunyi. Kini anakku lebih pandai menasihati daripada aku. Dan aku bangga.
3 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu,
Inikah badai? Aku mendapat surat dari kepolisian pemerintahan Malaysia, kabarnya anakku ditahan. Dan dia diancam hukuman mati, karena dia terbukti membunuh suami majikannya. Sesak dadaku mendapat kabar ini. Aku menangis, aku tak percaya. Kamilaku yang lemah lembut tak mungkin membunuh. Lagipula kenapa dia harus membunuh. Aku meminta bantuan hukum dari Indonesia untuk menyelamatkan anakku dari maut. Hampir setahun aku gelisah menunggu kasus anakku selesai. Tenaga tuaku terkuras dan airmataku habis. Aku hanya bisa memohon agar anakku tidak dihukum mati andai dia memang bersalah.
2 tahun 6 bulan yang lalu,
Akhirnya putusan itu jatuh juga, anakku terbukti bersalah. Dan dia harus menjalani hukuman gantung sebagai balasannya. Aku tidak bisa apa-apa selain menangis sejadinya. Andai aku tak izinkan dia pergi apakah nasibnya tak akan seburuk ini? Andai aku tak belikan ia bola apakah keadaanku pasti lebih baik? Aku kini benar-benar sendiri. Wahai Allah kuatkan aku.
Atas permintaan anakku aku dijemput terbang ke Malaysia. Anakku ingin aku ada di sisinya di saat terakhirnya. Lihatlah, dia kurus sekali. Dua matanya sembab dan bengkak. Ingin rasanya aku berlari tapi apa daya kakiku tak ada. Aku masuk ke dalam ruangan pertemuan itu, dia berhambur ke arahku, memelukku erat, seakan tak ingin melepaskan aku.
"Bapak, Iya Takut!" aku memeluknya lebih erat lagi. Andai bisa ditukar, aku ingin menggantikannya.
"Kenapa, Ya, kenapa kamu membunuhnya sayang?"
"Lelaki tua itu ingin Iya tidur dengannya, Pak. Iya tidak mau. Iya dipukulnya. Iya takut, Iya dorong dan dia jatuh dari jendela kamar. Dan dia mati. Iya tidak salah kan, Pak!"
Aku perih mendengar itu. Aku iba dengan nasib anakku. Masa mudanya hilang begitu saja. Tapi aku bisa apa, istri keempat lelaki tua itu menuntut agar anakku dihukum mati. Dia kaya dan lelaki itu juga orang terhormat. Aku sudah berusaha untuk memohon keringanan bagi anakku, tapi menemuiku pun ia tidak mau. Sia-sia aku tinggal di Malaysia selama enam bulan untuk memohon hukuman pada wanita itu.
2 tahun yang lalu,
Hari ini, anakku akan dihukum gantung. Dan wanita itu akan hadir melihatnya. Aku mendengar dari petugas jika dia sudah datang dan ada di belakangku. Tapi aku tak ingin melihatnya. Aku melihat isyarat tangan dari hakim di sana. Petugas itu membuka papan yang diinjak anakku. Dan 'blass" Kamilaku kini tergantung. Aku tak bisa lagi menangis. Setelah yakin sudah mati, jenazah anakku diturunkan mereka, aku mendengar langkah kaki menuju jenazah anakku. Dia menyibak kain penutupnya dan tersenyum sinis. Aku mendongakkan kepalaku, dan dengan mataku yang samar oleh air mata aku melihat garis wajah yang kukenal.
"Kania?"
"Mas Har, kau . !"
"Kau ... kau bunuh anakmu sendiri, Kania!"
"Iya? Dia..dia . Iya?" serunya getir menunjuk jenazah anakku.
"Ya, dia Iya kita. Iya yang ingin jadi pemain bola jika sudah besar."
"Tidak ... tidaaak ... " Kania berlari ke arah jenazah anakku. Diguncang tubuh kaku itu sambil menjerit histeris. Seorang petugas menghampiri Kania dan memberikan secarik kertas yang tergenggam di tangannya waktu dia diturunkan dari tiang gantungan. Bunyinya "Terima kasih Mama." Aku baru sadar, kalau dari dulu Kamila sudah tahu wanita itu ibunya.
Setahun lalu,
Sejak saat itu istriku gila. Tapi apakah dia masih istriku. Yang aku tahu, aku belum pernah menceraikannya. Terakhir kudengar kabarnya dia mati bunuh diri. Dia ingin dikuburkan di samping kuburan anakku, Kamila. Kata pembantu yang mengantarkan jenazahnya padaku, dia sering berteriak, "Iya sayaaang, apalagi yang pecah, Nak." Kamu tahu Kania, kali ini yang pecah adalah hatiku. Mungkin orang tua kita memang benar, tak seharusnya kita menikah. Agar tak ada kesengsaraan untuk Kamila anak kita. Benarkah begitu Iya sayang?
(true story/CN02)
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Both sides of the story
A neighbourhood peace is shattered it's the middle of the night
young faces hide in the shadows,
while they watch their mother and father fight
he says she's been unfaithful, she says her love for him has gone
and the brother shrugs to his sister and says "looks like it's just us from now on"
We always need to hear both sides of the story
- Both sides of the story - Phil Collins -
Once I listened to my friend (say his name is A) telling me about his conflict with another friend (say B). I listened to him, and I emphatised with him, like all good listeners do, and I thought 'oh A is correct, B is wrong'.
Then on another occasion, B told me his side of the story. Again I empathised with him and thought 'hmm, B is correct and A is wrong'
And then I thought 'hey, how come I change my opinion like that, is it just me and my consistent inconsistency :P ?'
When I get to hear both sides of the story, often I see that it is just a matter of miscommunication or misunderstanding. But I also observe that when we have misunderstanding, often our pride tell us not to listen to the other party's opinion and just keep on insisting that 'I'm right and (s)he's wrong'. Moreover, when prejudice and prior dislike are there between them, then there will be no way of admitting 'yes, you're right, sorry'.
Most of the times I only get to hear from one party, and I wonder, how would the other side tell me his version of the situation. Or maybe it's not that important at all. I'm not a judge who have to decide on their case. What's important for me to do is just to let him/her get it out of their chest and be a good listener and not taking any side. It's their problem anyway....
I remember when I was staying in a boarding house, A told B that she hated C because of this and that. Then B hated C too because B agreed with A that C is sooo awfully bad. Then when A and C came to a good term again, B and C would still disliked each other... funny isn't it. So that's why it's better not to take side.
* I was a bit depressed and wanting self-confidence as a child, my dream was to become a psycholog to be able to help myself, but then I decided to study engineering instead because it takes so long time to graduate from the faculty of psychology. I compensated it by reading popular psychology books. It helps me to develop myself, I think. So.... this wannabe-psycholog likes to try and analyse human's mind... *
young faces hide in the shadows,
while they watch their mother and father fight
he says she's been unfaithful, she says her love for him has gone
and the brother shrugs to his sister and says "looks like it's just us from now on"
We always need to hear both sides of the story
- Both sides of the story - Phil Collins -
Once I listened to my friend (say his name is A) telling me about his conflict with another friend (say B). I listened to him, and I emphatised with him, like all good listeners do, and I thought 'oh A is correct, B is wrong'.
Then on another occasion, B told me his side of the story. Again I empathised with him and thought 'hmm, B is correct and A is wrong'
And then I thought 'hey, how come I change my opinion like that, is it just me and my consistent inconsistency :P ?'
When I get to hear both sides of the story, often I see that it is just a matter of miscommunication or misunderstanding. But I also observe that when we have misunderstanding, often our pride tell us not to listen to the other party's opinion and just keep on insisting that 'I'm right and (s)he's wrong'. Moreover, when prejudice and prior dislike are there between them, then there will be no way of admitting 'yes, you're right, sorry'.
Most of the times I only get to hear from one party, and I wonder, how would the other side tell me his version of the situation. Or maybe it's not that important at all. I'm not a judge who have to decide on their case. What's important for me to do is just to let him/her get it out of their chest and be a good listener and not taking any side. It's their problem anyway....
I remember when I was staying in a boarding house, A told B that she hated C because of this and that. Then B hated C too because B agreed with A that C is sooo awfully bad. Then when A and C came to a good term again, B and C would still disliked each other... funny isn't it. So that's why it's better not to take side.
* I was a bit depressed and wanting self-confidence as a child, my dream was to become a psycholog to be able to help myself, but then I decided to study engineering instead because it takes so long time to graduate from the faculty of psychology. I compensated it by reading popular psychology books. It helps me to develop myself, I think. So.... this wannabe-psycholog likes to try and analyse human's mind... *
Monday 2 Aug 2004
(I deleted my other blogs... I'll just write that kind of stuff offline :P)
So.. this Monday was the compensatory holiday for Asalaha Bucha Day. In Thailand we are fortunate to have this kind of system. When a holiday (Buddhist and royal family-related holiday) falls on Saturday or Sunday (which are already dayoffs) then it will be compensated on the following Monday and/or Tuesday etc. Hehehe... so it's good for lazy staff like me... I heard that Indonesia will apply the same system (or has it already been applied?) .
We started from our place at 8.00, six people as previously planned. We rode on Olivier's car, 4 people at the back... a bit squeezed but it's OK ;P. It took us only about 30 minutes to Nonthaburi (north of Bangkok), where we stopped at a temple and caught our boat there. It costs 500 B (= 12 USD) for 3 hours ride (I guess the boat can accommodate up to 10 people, later on we saw that another place offers 350 B or approx. 9 USD for the same ride). I'll attach the picture later.
We stopped at some places in the Koh Kret (= Kret island). It is actually a man-made island, made by digging the earth (I forgot for what purpose &*$%! - forgetful me -), so some people refuse to call it an island. Below is some more info on the island.
Koh Kret, a tiny island in the Chao Phraya River, located in Nonthaburi Province. On this island lives a community of craftsmen famous for their distinctive style of pottery, which dates back many centuries. The potteries are known for their fine, red-black glazed surface and folk design. They are all hand-made piece-by-piece and you can see the process. People live on Koh Kret and nearby are the descendants of the ethnic Mon people who managed to retain the skills of their forefathers. This small community is also famed for making traditional Thai sweets. (http://www.circleofasia.com/bookings/ToursDetail.asp?id=TNBR0333)
Our friends bought hammock (made of water hyacinth), some earthenware decorations, small lantern, snacks, orchids... I think the prices are inexpensive. We had lunch at the "Khun Ael" restaurant at one of the piers.
Then we returned to the Wat (temple) where we began. The original idea was actually we will take the boat along the Chao Phraya river down to Bangkok. But seems like we took the wrong boat. But it's OK.
Then we decided to go downtown to Bangkok by car. To the Democracy Monumen area, parked the car, bought coffee at the 'Whale' kiosk (nice coffee, but no place to sit comfortably), then walked to Sanam Luang, the peripheral of Grand Palace, took the boat to Wat Arun (gosh it was a long walk). Then we took the taxi boat to Saphan Taksin BTS station (hehehe now I'm so fond of hyperlinking words in my posting :D). The boat was overcrowded, thank God we arrived safe and sound :D. It's the first time I took the boat when traveling to Bangkok (yes I've been dinner-cruising 3 times before, but they were special occasions), nice experience.
Then we took the BTS and went to Lumpini Park. Watched people exercising (jogging & aerobic). Then we took the pedal-boat *not sure if this is the right way to call it, a small, 2-seaters boat where you have to pedal to make it 'walk', again, I'll attach the pic later*. I bought bread to feed the fish, but no fish was on sight. Unfortunately it rained a little bit so we had to stopped earlier (after 15 minutes, out of the allowed 30 minutes).
Then we took a taxi and had dinner at a nice open-roof restaurant near the place where we parked the car (romantic, with a nice view of Bangkok!). The food was a bit expensive, but delicious. But I don't think I'll go there on my own. The first 3 storeys of the restaurant are used for some kind of pub and a bit gloomy. I think it is safe, but still I don't like it much.
We arrived home at about 10.00 p.m.
So.. this Monday was the compensatory holiday for Asalaha Bucha Day. In Thailand we are fortunate to have this kind of system. When a holiday (Buddhist and royal family-related holiday) falls on Saturday or Sunday (which are already dayoffs) then it will be compensated on the following Monday and/or Tuesday etc. Hehehe... so it's good for lazy staff like me... I heard that Indonesia will apply the same system (or has it already been applied?) .
We started from our place at 8.00, six people as previously planned. We rode on Olivier's car, 4 people at the back... a bit squeezed but it's OK ;P. It took us only about 30 minutes to Nonthaburi (north of Bangkok), where we stopped at a temple and caught our boat there. It costs 500 B (= 12 USD) for 3 hours ride (I guess the boat can accommodate up to 10 people, later on we saw that another place offers 350 B or approx. 9 USD for the same ride). I'll attach the picture later.
We stopped at some places in the Koh Kret (= Kret island). It is actually a man-made island, made by digging the earth (I forgot for what purpose &*$%! - forgetful me -), so some people refuse to call it an island. Below is some more info on the island.
Koh Kret, a tiny island in the Chao Phraya River, located in Nonthaburi Province. On this island lives a community of craftsmen famous for their distinctive style of pottery, which dates back many centuries. The potteries are known for their fine, red-black glazed surface and folk design. They are all hand-made piece-by-piece and you can see the process. People live on Koh Kret and nearby are the descendants of the ethnic Mon people who managed to retain the skills of their forefathers. This small community is also famed for making traditional Thai sweets. (http://www.circleofasia.com/bookings/ToursDetail.asp?id=TNBR0333)
Our friends bought hammock (made of water hyacinth), some earthenware decorations, small lantern, snacks, orchids... I think the prices are inexpensive. We had lunch at the "Khun Ael" restaurant at one of the piers.
Then we returned to the Wat (temple) where we began. The original idea was actually we will take the boat along the Chao Phraya river down to Bangkok. But seems like we took the wrong boat. But it's OK.
Then we decided to go downtown to Bangkok by car. To the Democracy Monumen area, parked the car, bought coffee at the 'Whale' kiosk (nice coffee, but no place to sit comfortably), then walked to Sanam Luang, the peripheral of Grand Palace, took the boat to Wat Arun (gosh it was a long walk). Then we took the taxi boat to Saphan Taksin BTS station (hehehe now I'm so fond of hyperlinking words in my posting :D). The boat was overcrowded, thank God we arrived safe and sound :D. It's the first time I took the boat when traveling to Bangkok (yes I've been dinner-cruising 3 times before, but they were special occasions), nice experience.
Then we took the BTS and went to Lumpini Park. Watched people exercising (jogging & aerobic). Then we took the pedal-boat *not sure if this is the right way to call it, a small, 2-seaters boat where you have to pedal to make it 'walk', again, I'll attach the pic later*. I bought bread to feed the fish, but no fish was on sight. Unfortunately it rained a little bit so we had to stopped earlier (after 15 minutes, out of the allowed 30 minutes).
Then we took a taxi and had dinner at a nice open-roof restaurant near the place where we parked the car (romantic, with a nice view of Bangkok!). The food was a bit expensive, but delicious. But I don't think I'll go there on my own. The first 3 storeys of the restaurant are used for some kind of pub and a bit gloomy. I think it is safe, but still I don't like it much.
We arrived home at about 10.00 p.m.
Friday, July 30, 2004
Lunch and Weekend.....
uhuuuuhuhuhu.... I had a big lunch... though I have promised myself to try and reduce my meal servings... the dishes were good though... buffet lunch at the campus' restaurant... I love the fishball soup (should have been served with noodle, but I took only the fishball :P) and the chapati and beef curry.... yummmyy.... we sat with 2 of my kangmas' friends -elsa and albert-... they're fun...
then, a long weekend is coming: saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday.... awwww... i love it.... we cancelled the plan to go out of town as a farewell trip for elsa... because the place is fully booked and the rental of the tent has gone skyrocketing.... from 300 B/ night to 700 B... instead we'll go cruising along the Chao Phraya river on monday... the ship (or maybe boat?) will not be as big as the one we went on for a dinner with my kangmas' parents and sis last month... it might be exciting, though ... it'll be an international team :D elsa is from france, albert's a filipino, hall's a thai, olivier's a belgian....
now I remember, the first time I took a water transportation vehicle was on 1993 (or was it 94), I took a ferry from Java island to Bali island. It was only few days after a tsunami hit that area.... and I could not swim at all by then (I can now, though not so well).... gosh... it was scary.... we arrived at the port (at Java's side, I forget what's the name) at 22.00 and because it was also a peak season, we could board the ferry only at 07.00 in the morning... so we spent time sleeping in the bus or looking around. There were many vendors selling snacks and the local liquor (made of coconut juice) and brem (kind of snack made of fermented cassava, the consumption of which is believed to be able to reduce pimples, I need that.... :P). Then on the ferry, the waves were a bit strong.... so the ferry was swaying...
But nothing happened.. now I'm not that scared to take boat or ship to travel... though I'm still afraid of the water... it's so scary to be drowned...... ugh... don't wanna think about it now... I'll just go home early today, reading some works while waiting for the evening sport with my kangmas....
then tomorrow I'll see tante Ria and her hubby.... exciting! :D
then, a long weekend is coming: saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday.... awwww... i love it.... we cancelled the plan to go out of town as a farewell trip for elsa... because the place is fully booked and the rental of the tent has gone skyrocketing.... from 300 B/ night to 700 B... instead we'll go cruising along the Chao Phraya river on monday... the ship (or maybe boat?) will not be as big as the one we went on for a dinner with my kangmas' parents and sis last month... it might be exciting, though ... it'll be an international team :D elsa is from france, albert's a filipino, hall's a thai, olivier's a belgian....
now I remember, the first time I took a water transportation vehicle was on 1993 (or was it 94), I took a ferry from Java island to Bali island. It was only few days after a tsunami hit that area.... and I could not swim at all by then (I can now, though not so well).... gosh... it was scary.... we arrived at the port (at Java's side, I forget what's the name) at 22.00 and because it was also a peak season, we could board the ferry only at 07.00 in the morning... so we spent time sleeping in the bus or looking around. There were many vendors selling snacks and the local liquor (made of coconut juice) and brem (kind of snack made of fermented cassava, the consumption of which is believed to be able to reduce pimples, I need that.... :P). Then on the ferry, the waves were a bit strong.... so the ferry was swaying...
But nothing happened.. now I'm not that scared to take boat or ship to travel... though I'm still afraid of the water... it's so scary to be drowned...... ugh... don't wanna think about it now... I'll just go home early today, reading some works while waiting for the evening sport with my kangmas....
then tomorrow I'll see tante Ria and her hubby.... exciting! :D
Judges around us
Hehehe... I don't know should I post this one here or on my other blog... FYI, I have 2 blogs.... one is for my sunny-day-thoughts.... one is for my gloomy-day-thoughts....
Once... I saw a Caucasian man... with 4 Thai little boys (I guess their age is between 10 - 12 y.o.), they looked like street childrens, but 1 of them was nicely dressed... the man kissed one of the boys... out of affection?.... It was in a pizza restaurant... hehehe... guess you know what crossed my mind then --> This man's a paedophile! and the nicely dressed boy is the 'pimp' .... I told my bf jokingly about what I was thinkin..... but... is it true?
Based on only one scene... I quickly made my judgement... there are also other possibilities
- the nicely dressed boy is the adopted son of the man and he was having his birthday party and the man suggested him to invite his friends from his previous life to join the party....
- the man was just being nice.... inviting boys he met on the streets to have the - might be once in a lifetime - chance to taste pizzas.....
Another scene.... a student (girl) was seen coming out of a hotel (inside the campus area where I live) with a man... hehehe... and rumours spread instantly.... but... each of us has our own room here in the campus... had they wanted to 'do something', they can just do it in their dormitories... they don't have to book a hotel room... or... they can book other hotels outside the campus....
hihihi... tau' ah gelap..... it's so easy to judge.... though we don't really know what happens and things are not necessarily like what they seemed to be....
*thinking mode: ON*
Once... I saw a Caucasian man... with 4 Thai little boys (I guess their age is between 10 - 12 y.o.), they looked like street childrens, but 1 of them was nicely dressed... the man kissed one of the boys... out of affection?.... It was in a pizza restaurant... hehehe... guess you know what crossed my mind then --> This man's a paedophile! and the nicely dressed boy is the 'pimp' .... I told my bf jokingly about what I was thinkin..... but... is it true?
Based on only one scene... I quickly made my judgement... there are also other possibilities
- the nicely dressed boy is the adopted son of the man and he was having his birthday party and the man suggested him to invite his friends from his previous life to join the party....
- the man was just being nice.... inviting boys he met on the streets to have the - might be once in a lifetime - chance to taste pizzas.....
Another scene.... a student (girl) was seen coming out of a hotel (inside the campus area where I live) with a man... hehehe... and rumours spread instantly.... but... each of us has our own room here in the campus... had they wanted to 'do something', they can just do it in their dormitories... they don't have to book a hotel room... or... they can book other hotels outside the campus....
hihihi... tau' ah gelap..... it's so easy to judge.... though we don't really know what happens and things are not necessarily like what they seemed to be....
*thinking mode: ON*
Thursday, July 29, 2004
End of the gloomy days
guess today is the end of my gloominess... hehehe... feel better... and head over heel in love with him...
my piano teacher is going abroad... thus I don't have any classes this week... but she gave me a lot of homework... *sigh*... but it's OK... I can practice at home and do *something else* too ;P
(like eating my favorite choc for example... what were you thinking?)
my colleague couldn't enter her room because she did not bring her keys while her office mate who works in the same room had locked the door behind him... so she came to my room while waiting, we had some snacks and talked... about the future plan... coz after 2004 we'll be jobless... talked about delivering baby - she's just delivered hers two months ago - I think it's a bit scary... gives me shivers just to imagine myself delivering one.... but I think it's a wonderful feeling though... to have another live inside of you... to give birth to a new sweet life.... guess it's worth the pain.....
hmmm... and in another 55 minutes, I'll meet my friends and we'll go to a food bazaar nearby... it's fun to go there... see a wide array of choices... hey... I was hysterical the first time I went there... so many good things to buy... I remember we ended up buying too much .... *ouch*
my piano teacher is going abroad... thus I don't have any classes this week... but she gave me a lot of homework... *sigh*... but it's OK... I can practice at home and do *something else* too ;P
(like eating my favorite choc for example... what were you thinking?)
my colleague couldn't enter her room because she did not bring her keys while her office mate who works in the same room had locked the door behind him... so she came to my room while waiting, we had some snacks and talked... about the future plan... coz after 2004 we'll be jobless... talked about delivering baby - she's just delivered hers two months ago - I think it's a bit scary... gives me shivers just to imagine myself delivering one.... but I think it's a wonderful feeling though... to have another live inside of you... to give birth to a new sweet life.... guess it's worth the pain.....
hmmm... and in another 55 minutes, I'll meet my friends and we'll go to a food bazaar nearby... it's fun to go there... see a wide array of choices... hey... I was hysterical the first time I went there... so many good things to buy... I remember we ended up buying too much .... *ouch*
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Second Posting
starting again in July 04...
Hiii...i'm back...
Thanks to Ria who has helped me and brought the sunshine to my blog
Thursday, July 22, 2004
First Posting
The first time I created this blog was on October 02, 2003... God! I can't believe it's been 9 months and I did nothing for this....
Many things have happened... some good... some bad... Wait! how can I say it's good or bad... now, come to think of it, there are always 2 sides of everything...
Jeezz.... I need to contemplate further on this... but I don't think I can write it down here... hmmm.... time to get back to my diary... where only God and I alone will know...
Many things have happened... some good... some bad... Wait! how can I say it's good or bad... now, come to think of it, there are always 2 sides of everything...
Jeezz.... I need to contemplate further on this... but I don't think I can write it down here... hmmm.... time to get back to my diary... where only God and I alone will know...
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