Dreams

I have a dream, a target, a goal... call it as you'd like
that now seems unlikely to come true
No matter how hard I tried,
there are things that just lie beyond our control
but sometimes it's in the hands of other people
Could it be God's plan?

Disappointed and sad...
...to be misunderstood, when all I wanted was
trying to find the best for all....
...coz no one takes my side when I expected them to
...coz it seems like the world is against me

Maybe it's just my selfish wish after all
I know I'm selfish...
But if I don't stand up for myself, who will?

I know God have beautiful plans for my life
But it's so hard to accept and just cast my worries upon Him
when I just can't see the end of the tunnel
when I can't see what the future holds for me

It's easy to say when the turmoil is over
that God has made everything beautiful in His time ;-P
but not in the middle of it
That's what always happens to me

Maybe I should try to have more faith
Maybe I should count my blessings
and be satisfied with it....

in His time

Pertama sorry buat tante Ria, aku ga sadar kalo tante lagi 'mobile' mode di yahoo messenger :(( langsung aja main jawab offline message nya .... Sekali lagi thanks buat perhatiannya, sis....

Just a short entry this time... soalnya janjian ama kangmas mau ke Talaad thai beli ikan mas (hobby baru kita.. aku hobby kasih makan, tapi ga mau ikutan bersihin akuarium nya hehehehe)

Just as always.... He makes everything beautiful in His time..... Jumat kemaren aku udah secured a new job.... Senin dan Selasa nyiapin kontrak.... sekarang lagi berusaha adjust dan nyiapin utk kick-off dengan proyek baru ini... gaji sih tetep (malah mungkin kena potong) tapi titel nya lebih bagus... project leader.... this will look good in my resume... tapi takut juga sih... bisa ga ya aku .....

the only certain thing in this world is the uncertainty

So many things have happened regarding my job.... still nothing is for sure as of now.
Thank God I have bosses and colleagues who care about me and they tried as much as they can to help me. May God bless their kind hearts.

ngeriiiii

doooo... sudah beberapa hari ini nafsu makan meningkat terus.... ngeriiiiii
pengennya ngemiiiiil terus.....

Dec 5

I went for breakfast with my kangmas and saw him off for work. Then I bought some groceries I need for cooking. I started at 09.30, tried my best to make "ayam panggang daun jeruk" (roasted chicken with lime leaves) and "cah kangkung" (stir fried morning glory). I finished at 11.00. The chicken was too sweet and not spicy enough *hiks*. Anyway my kangmas was forced finished them all hehehe.

I felt lazy to go to the office in the afternoon and started planning what to cook the next day. But then I got a phone call from the office, telling me that I will still receive salary this month and is expected to report everyday to the office just like before.

My boss called for a meeting at 14.00. Here he confirmed that there is effort to reallocate the staffs to the suitable new job, but we will know for sure only after Jan 11.

So here I am working *and blogging too hehehe*, gone are my plans to improve my cooking skill, pity my kangmas has to bear with that :D

Dec 4

I can't recall what we did on Dec 3. I think we just relaxed and went to fitness center in the afternoon.

Dec 4 was the first working day here. I went to my old office, still many colleagues were there. Of course the finance people need to wrap up the financial report. But some others hang around too. It was good to see the old faces, the working atmosphere here was warm, people are like one big family. It feels strange, though, that things are not what they used to be anymore.

I came only to sort my things out as I didn't have time for that before the break. I just threw everything into the boxes. Feels strange that I am not as busy as I used to be. There were times when I felt that I don't have time even to breathe. I helped my colleague a little bit and planned to come back to the office in the afternoon the next day (I planned to learn and try cooking in the morning).

Dec 2

Going back to Bangkok. My kangmas was supposed to meet me in Singapore and then we would take the same flight to Bangkok. But he didn't show up on time.

I was worried because when I first checked the arrival time of his flight, it was written there "10.05 confirmed". Then I waited for 15 minutes in front of the arrival gate, nothing happened. When I checked the announcement board, it was changed to "10.15 confirmed". After another 15 minutes, I checked again and it showed "ask airlines".

I wonder why the airport staff couldn't tell me exactly what happened with the flight. They asked me to call the airlines. And so I called, but could not reach them. Then I boarded my plane as it was already the final call for the passengers boarding the flight. I asked the flight attendant to check what happened with my kangmas' flight (our flights were all with the same airlines).

After checking, the flight attendant told me that his plane could not land in Singapore due to bad weather. They already arrived at Changi but didn't get the permission to land and has to go to Kuala Lumpur then back to Singapore again. Funny, my flight landed only 10 minutes earlier than his, but we could land directly. He said that my kangmas will be transferred to another airlines because there is only one SIN - BKK flight with this airlines. Anyway I was already relieved to know that the flight was OK.

Right after I landed in Bangkok I checked with the airlines, which flight was my kangmas transferred to but I didn't get the answer after about 1 hour of waiting. So I went back home and planned to call the airlines office from home.

But, my only way of calling outside i.e.: my mobile ran out of battery, I have no charger, I don't remember from whom I can borrow. Normally I borrow from kangmas. But luckily I remember Alvin's phone number at his dorm and he was there and he has the charger. Thank God.

Then at 16.00 I found out that my kangmas would arrive at 17.20. Happily I got ready and picked him up at the airport. Miss him sooo mmmuaacchhh (during our vacation in Indonesia, we met only from 26 - 29 Dec :P).

First entry of 2005

My last day of work was 22 Dec 2004, that day I received the news that I might still have work in 2005 but nothing was 100% sure. I went back from the office at 23.30.

On 23 Dec I went back to my hometown, transit for 1 day in Singapore, I stayed in my sis' place. My last days in Bangkok were so hectic. Friend and relatives came to visit us, wrapping up of the work and clearing up my office space.

I and my kangmas were engaged on 27 Dec, the event itself was quick, but meaningful. It's another step toward our future together. Thanks to all of you who wishes us well.

But there was the tsunami disaster the day before. An old thought came back to me "Just when I am so happy and blessed, there are other people in other places which are in miseries, in the middle of a war, starving, etc.. etc.."

Ah.... I can't think of anything else to write now.... Now I'm still reporting to my old office and wait for something to come up.