being a mom

other than the changes in my daily routine, being a mom also makes me re-think of the way I think about myself and my relationships with others.

- I found that I am not as patient as I appeared to be (and I'd like to think of myself as reasonably patient too, in my toddler-free era :D), I lose my cool rather easily, esp. when Tio is acting up when I'm sleepy, am busy doing something, or am uneasy about something else

- of course it affect my relationship with hubby, I don't have much time to take care of him, nor as much attention as before... we barely can talk as we were both exhausted after Tio sleeps and sometimes we slept before he did (he was lying on the bed, drowsy but still awake) :D.

- my relationships with my own mom and my in-laws... we did not have much to be in touch before, but now that Tio is here, the interest is there.... it's true what they say in the books, it's something like "baby brings the grandparents (and other relatives) closer, and their baggage (incl. emotional baggage), this can be positive or negative"..... I don't have any problem with my in-laws (as it is agreed between me and hubby that we take care of comments or problems caused by our respective side of the family), but I do have problems with my own mom....

- my relationship with the helper/ nanny, of course I did not need any helper before, I could do everything by myself, I could clean up the whole house by myself and even had time to read or do something else I enjoy... but now I need one and I don't really like it coz I have a high standard for everything and most helpers can't meet my standard, i did compromise on this, but combined with other things my dislike to the helper grows even more and more :P.....and I never had any helper in the house before.... and it's difficult to find one who can understand and follow my principles in parenting....esp. if she's senior.... I think I should try to live without one.....others can do it, why can't I

- my relationships with other parents, esp during playdates... toddler can't be expected to share all the time (with Tio right now, not at all :D), to behave well, to understand that mommy has needs and has to do other things when he wants to go outside or to his friend's house..... I still don't know what to do when we are at Tio's friend's house to play or when other kids are here to play..... and I have to do small talks more often now coz other parents or even strangers in the shopping mall talked to me about babies etc. (I like this part, though)